The Western Conference has been dominant over the Eastern Conference during the regular season, but have not faired well in the Finals. Perhaps it is because the road is a lot tougher for teams in the West and they are so beat up by the time they make it through the first three rounds of the playoffs. Some people will say it’s a trend that will sway back in favor of the Eastern Conference with time. Trend or not, the NBA needs to look into amending the playoffs to the best 16 teams in the NBA, the West would probably fill 10-12 of those spots. With that in mind, here are 15 questions to ask the teams in the Western Conference before the season starts:

Will Bynum help the Lakers as much as many say he will?

(1) Dallas Mavericks – How will Josh Howard handle the ‘boo birds?” Home video of Mavericks forward Josh Howard disrespecting the US National Anthem spread on the internet as fast as the latest Tina Fey’s impersonations of Sarah Palin. Howard will now be booed just as bad as Kobe is in Denver (where he was charged of raping a girl).

(2) Denver Nuggets – Can the Nuggets keep it together? The Nuggets play strictly on emotion. When things are good, they are really good. When things are bad, they turn into little boys playing recreational basketball and start crying over someone “reaching in.” If you want to get the Nuggets on the ropes, just get them upset and they will dig their own graves. 

(3) Golden State Warriors - Who’s going to run your “Nellie” ball? With Baron Davis leaving in the off-season and Monta Ellis crashing his scooter, the Warriors are thin at point guard. In all honesty though, Don Nelson’s run and gun offense really doesn’t need a point guard, their only set play is to take a shot with 14 seconds left on the shot clock. 

(4) Houston Rockets – Can Yao and McGrady stay healthy? When Yao Ming and Tray McGrady are healthy, they pose major match-up problems for any team. Take one of them away and they become one-dimensional. The addition of Ron Artest makes the Rockets an even tougher defensive team. All they need is to get out of the first round.

(5) Los Angeles Clippers – Will Baron be worth it? For just about a day there were fans all over Clippers Nation (which is Billy Crystal and a bunch of nobodys) excited that they might finally compete with the Lakers, then Elton Brand signed with the 76ers. Now this team is no better off then the Golden State Warriors, which I guess is still better than last year. 

(6) Los Angeles Lakers - What if Andrew Bynum isn’t the missing piece? All the talk from when he got injured to now just weeks away from his healthy debut with the Lakers, we’ve heard Andrew Bynum is the missing piece. He might disrupt their chemistry, or whatever they have left. 

(7) Minnesota Timberwolves – Will Kevin Love contribute enough? The Timberwolves are rebuilding, which is why they sent Kevin Garnett packing last year. The Timberwolves problem is that they keep starting the rebuilding process with the wrong players. Al Jefferson has been great for them, and hopefully Love will be able to contribute in the middle as well.  

(8) Memphis Grizzlies – Will O.J. Mayo contribute enough? The Grizzlies are almost in the the identical boat as Minnesota. They sent Pau Gasol packing last year and have been rebuilding for years now. With O.J. Mayo and Rudy Gay teaming up in the front court they are hoping it will be the start of something good.  

(9) New Orleans Hornets – How much will Posey help? The Hornets are inching ever so close to being a legitimate staying force in the Western Conference, but they want a Championship. Picking up James Posey was a smart move, Championships just seem to follow him wherever he goes.

New scenery and boring jerseys won't change the results for Kevin Durant and his teammates.

(10) Oklahoma City Thunder – Will the new scenery help? Simply put, no. This team is still Kevin Durant and 11 other guys. The front office is soon going to realize how hard it’s going to be to try and convince guys to come play in Oklahoma City, they have bumped Utah out of the top spot on the “places players want to play at least” list. They can reverse that by doing what the Utah Jazz do, win.

(11) Phoenix Suns – Can Shaq keep up? Phoenix made the second worse trade last season in swapping Shawn Marion for Shaquille O’Neal (first was Devin Harris for Jason Kidd). In my opinion, there has never been a trade that impacted the chemistry of a team so much as the Shaq trade. Terry Porter is their new coach, but he’s not going to change anything. 

(12) Portland Trailblazers - Can the Trailblazers gel? Portland had perhaps the youngest and most talented team in the league. Rookie Jerryd Bayless has been nothing short of spectacular, and 2nd year man Greg Oden will add depth at the center position. That’s right, Oden is not a rookie, he was injured his rookie season. There is no red-shirting in the NBA. 

(13) Sacramento Kings – Can the Kings sneak into the playoffs? If the Kings are going to get into the playoffs, they are going to have to sneak in at the #8 spot. There are plenty of teams in the West this year that are rebuilding and haven’t found their identity yet. 

(14) San Antonio Spurs - How much longer can you make a run with your same old geriatrics? Bruce Bowen and Robert Horry are inching ever so closer to the coveted senior citizen discount at the local buffet. Even a balding Manu Ginobili is slowly breaking down, which was clearly evident in the Summer Olympics.

(15) Utah Jazz - Do you really believe Carlos Boozer will re-sign at the end of the year? He told Cleveland he was going tot re-sign with them and then he bolted to the Jazz. The Jazz might end up with nothing for Carlos Boozer for being so naive, the Cavaliers could sympathize with them as Boozer is playing elsewhere.

The Eastern Conference has long been the laughing stock of the NBA. At the end of every year, for quite a while, teams that are ten games below .500 are fighting for playoff spots. On the flip side, the Western Conference has teams that are ten games above .500 that miss the playoffs every year. An ironic, underlying point behind all of this is that two of the last three NBA Champions have come from the Eastern Conference. With that in mind, here are 15 questions to ask the teams in the Eastern Conference before the season starts: 

Can rookie Derrick Rose make an immediate impact on the Bulls?

 (1) Atlanta Hawks - Did you enjoy the playoffs? I sure hope so, because you won’t be going back this year. The Eastern Conference is going to be better this year and you lost one of your best players to Europe… the Hawks are scrambling just to fill roster spots right now.

(2) Boston Celtics - If you start slow, will you blame the coach of the GM? Head Coach Doc Rivers and GM Danny Ainge were goats in 2006, then they assembled a Championship team last year and were geniuses. The “Three Amigos” (Garnett, Allen, and Pierce) will make another run this year if they stay injury-free. 

(3) Charlotte Bobcats - Will Larry Brown make Pistons or Knicks out of you?  Head Coach Larry Brown lead the Detroit Pistons to a pair of Titles, he then tanked with the Knicks. Chances are he will do that with this group of players. The Bobcats have never been to the playoffs, expect that same utterance next year.

(4) Chicago Bulls – Will Rose speed you up or slow you down? The Bulls are lacking at the point, which is why they drafted Derrick Rose with the first pack in the summer draft. His maturation will directly correlate with the success of the Bulls this year.

(5) Cleveland Cavaliers – Is this the year LeBron finally gets some support? One knock on Cleveland is that while LeBron James has been there he has had no supporting cast for him. This year teams might have to rethink triple covering LeBron, he might have players around him capable of making a big shot. 

(6) Detroit Pistons – Can the Pistons get over the hump? The Pistons have made it to three straight Conference Championships and bowed out each and every time. With their head coach Flip Saunders getting fired, the Pistons are hoping that will be the answer. Hopefully they can get to the hump this year. 

(7) Indiana Pacers – Can the Pacers collection of average talent have synergy? Synergy, it’s the only way the Pacers will be successful this year. The Pacers made a lot of off-season moves to collect a lot of talent, but no dominant talent. If the Pacers are going to win, they will have to do it as a team. 

(8) Miami Heat - Will Michael Beasley be a distraction or a help? Michael Beasley has already shown signs he has let the money that comes with the NBA get to his head. He might be one of those talented players that never lives up to his potential. A healthy Dwayne Wade (as showcased in the Summer Olympics) will more than make up for what Beasley doesn’t bring (on the court).

(9) Milwaukee Bucks - Will a disgruntled Jefferson help? Milwaukee traded for Richard Jefferson, much to his dismay. A pouty Richard didn’t even report to the team for days, you have to wonder how much effort he will give. Shawn Marion was equally tiffed when he was moved last season, but he kept playing hard for the Heat.

Will Jermaine O'Neal be the missing piece that Raptors need to make a push in the Playoffs?

(10) New Jersey Nets - Can Carter cope with no success? Vince Carter has earned the reputation of being selfish with the basketball and it will be much easier this year with Richard Jefferson being gone. Selfish or not, the Nets are rebuilding this year, I wouldn’t expect more than 30 wins from them this year.

(11) New York Knicks – How will Mike D’Antoni fair in his first year? With the way D’Antoni bolted Phoenix for another pasteur, you have to wonder what he saw in New York. Obviously more money, but he’s also inheriting a lot of talent that has not formulated into much success the past few years. 

(12) Orlando Magic- How deep can the bench-less Magic go? The front line of the Orlando Magic is so diverse, Rashard Lewis and Hedo Turkoglu can go inside or out. Dwight Howard can go in or in further, teams really have no choice. The problem is the Magic have no bench, and their starters can’t play 48 minutes a night, they aren’t Kobe Bryants and Allen Iversons.

(13) Philadelphia 76ers – Will Elton Brand Celticfy the 76ers? The 76ers are hoping that the signing of Elton Brand and resigning of Andre Iguodola will breed as much success as the Celtics big signings last summer. The only problem is Brand is coming off of injury and isn’t what he used to be.

(14) Toronto Raptors – Can Chris Bosh bring winning attitude to Toronto? Chris Bosh was just as happy as the other 11 players on the United States basketball team when they won gold, it was his first feeling of success in professional basketball. If he can exude that to his team, the Raptors could be dangerous. Oh yeah, and they stole Jermaine O’Neal from the Pacers for a injury-prone T.J. Ford.

(15) Washington Wizards –  Can you start good enough to hold on to a playoff spot?  The Wizards will be without franchise guard Gilbert Arenas until at least December. The good thing for the Wizards is they play in the Eastern Conference so they won’t even have to finish above .500 to make the Playoffs. Maybe more people will start to realize the real star on this team in Caron Butler. It takes Butler half the shots to ge the same amount of points as Arenas.

NBA pre-season games have already began and the regular season is just a few weeks away. Albeit, you do get to see more play from starters in NBA pre-season than in the NFL pre-season, but it still has little entertainment value. A couple quarters of watching your favorite players dial it down a notch and then a couple more of backups and players that won’t make roster cuts isn’t exactly what I’d call entertainment. I’d be more inclined to watch “Wipeout,” or “American Gladiators,” or the WNBA….no, it’s not that bad. Speaking of the WNBA, Oklahoma City pulled a name out of the “Rejected Names for WNBA Franchises” file when it unveiled their new name, the “Thunder.” The only thing that can salvage the team right now is if the have their mascot be a Thundercat. In case you’ve paid little to no attention this off season, here are three things that you should know heading into the 2008-09 season:

The New Orleans Hornets are hoping that adding James Posey will give them that extra piece they need to go deeper in the Playoffs.

(1) Ron Artest to Rockets, James Posey to Hornets - Ron Artest is the Pacman Jones of the NBA, a proven troublemaker with a history to back it up. Nobody can doubt his talent, especially on the defensive end, but the question becomes “is he really worth the trouble?” At this point the Houston Rockets are willing to do anything to win, having never made it to the second round of the playoffs with Tracy McGrady and Yao Ming. Artest has been there once, which is better than nothing. As for Artest potentially becoming a distraction, the Rockets are no strangers to players running into the stands trying to kill fans before. Portland-1995, Rockets guard Vernon Maxwell ran into the stands after a fan who apparently said mean things about Maxwell’s wife. The Rockets suspended Maxwell for 10 games, in which time they traded for Clyde Drexler, who helped them win the NBA Title that year. If Artest runs up in the stands, it could end up very nice for the Rockets, history is on their side.  

In other free agent signings, the New Orleans Hornets won the James Posey sweepstakes.  Posey is the new Robert Horry, NBA Championships just seem to follow him wherever he goes. For Horry it was at Houston, then Los Angeles, then San Antonio. For James Posey it was Miami, Boston, and the Hornets are hoping New Orleans. Although Posey is not nearly as good of shooter as Peja Stojakovic, he does have a knack for hitting the big shot and doing just enough to help his team win. As good as Posey seems to be, the Celtics aren’t acting like they miss him. I guess it’s like when you get dumped and pretend like you never liked the person in the first place, it eases the pain and aids in the grieving process. 

(2) Mass European Exodus - I don’t think that anybody foresaw the day when NBA players would willingly go play overseas, but that was before European teams were able to dangle millions of dollars in front of players faces. When free agency opened on July 1, the Atlanta Hawks had restricted free agent Josh Childress on the market. The Hawks thought they had their hand all planned out, give Childress a mid-level contract that nobody could match and get him back. The one thing they discounted was the Childress went to Stanford, he’s smart, and he understands that the Euro is stronger than the American dollar right now. Childress ended up bolting the continent to sign with a team in Greece for 3 years and over $20 million! Childress was the Moses of the NBA exodus to Europe this off-season, seven others followed him (although none of them as name-worthy as Childress). While this was big news and a lot of people questioned if this was the tip of an iceberg for the NBA, it clearly is not. Reports surfaced during the Olympics that Kobe Bryant and LeBron James would be willing to play overseas…if they got paid $20 million a year. Of course they would, who wouldn’t? We have to keep in mind who Childress left, the Hawks, it wasn’t a reputable franchise. 

Monta Ellis should have taken notes on fibbing from Ralphie.

(3) Monta Ellis Involved in an “Accident” – The summer started so good for Monta Ellis when the Golden State Warriors signed him to a 6-year $66 million deal, then it got bad all because he was quite frankly an idiot. Ellis suffered a severe ankle sprain in August and said it was sustained while playing pickup ball in his home state of Mississippi. A few days later, probably after watching Pinocchio and hearing Jiminy Cricket repeat “Always let your conscience be your guide,” Ellis came clean. Turns out he injured himself in a moped accident, which violated his contract (riding the moped was a violation). It was all too reminiscent of when Lakers forward Vladimir Radmanović dislocated his shoulder after “slipping” only to find out he was snowboarding. Both of their excuses were as ridiculous as Ralphie on “Christmas Story.” After you shooting his eye, he gave a masterful excuse that worked! Remember? An icicle fell off the garage and broke his glasses! Ellis’ little fib ended up costing him a 30 game suspension with no pay, equating about $3 million. Ouch!

This past week, the Pedowitz Report was released, which was an intensive look at refereeing in the NBA. Commissioner David Stern was desperate to renew the faith of his fans in the NBA after the Tim Donaghy betting scandal, so he hired a bunch of overpaid lawyers and paid them millions to do a report on the refereeing in the NBA. There are just a couple problems with Stern’s thinking on this one: the majority of basketball fans are already convinced that there are biases with refereeing in the NBA, and the minority are not going to waste time reading a 133 page report from some people paid by Stern to say what he wanted them to. What the Tim Donaghy scandal did was only validate what thousands of fans had already been thinking. The simple matter of fact is that whenever there is a questionable call that impacts a game, Tim Donaghy will pop into our heads kind of like E.T. does when we see Reese’s Pieces. (What? That doesn’t happen to you? Me neither…) 

Referees, often compared with zebras, are people too.

The problems in officiating are universal and run through all sports. We see shoddy officiating in the NFL, college sports, and even the Olympics. What always gets us is when after a game where a questionable call has been made we’re told that “the rules are open for interpretation.” I hate that! I want to throw my shoe at the T.V. when I here that! Rules are rules, aren’t they? So the rules are open for interpretation, which I’ve grown to be fine with, as long as their interpretation is consistent throughout the game. Right now, game 3 of the ALDS between the Los Angeles-Anaheim Angels and Boston Red Sox is on in the background and I heard the announcers say, “the strike zone seems bigger in this game then in the first two.” Okay, I’m fine with that, as long as that strike zone stays consistent. When watching basketball games and football games you can pretty much decide in the first few minutes whether the referees will let the players be more physical and let more things go. I’m fine with that too, a little street ball never hurt anyone. But, the problem we run into is that every referee is human, and humans have emotion. You think that when you yell profanities at referees that they aren’t affected emotionally by that. Referees have feelings too. We almost see referees as a by-standard to the game, just a zebra standing there, but they are every much a part of the game as the players and coaches.

Next time you watch a a college basketball game take notice to the team fouls. In college basketball there are two halves, after 7 team fouls in a half the other team gets to shoot “one-and-one,” meaning if they make the first free throw they get to attempt a second. After 10 team fouls in a half the other team gets two free throws. Since the fairness in college basketball is largely based on foul count and foul shots, you’ll see an interesting paradox once one team inches closer to 7 team fouls. The interesting paradox is that the other team all of a sudden will start fouling more to even it up so both teams get one-and-one at about the same time. Wait a second, or do the referees jut start calling more fouls on the other team? Think about it, it’s deep. I was attending a college basketball game when the team fouls were 7 on one team and 2 on the other. In the matter of minutes they were even at 7 and 7. In football you can see much of the same with holding calls. Honestly, holding can be called on about every play, so if the penalty yard disparity becomes too much, expect a few of those to be thrown in. After the NBA’s 133 page report on refereeing I can give you a two-word report on refereeing that will solve our problems, ‘USE ROBOTS!’ Think about it, robots have no emotion and if they can make video game so true to form than surely robots can do the job. There would be no biases or prejudices, unless the robots revolted and combined against us. Let’s just stick with what we have now, take the bad with the good, and accept the fact that referees are people like me and you…almost.

Last week we were talking about quarterbacks in trouble of riding the pine, this week there are now two coaches riding no pine. On Monday the St. Louis Rams fired head coach Scott Linehan and on Tuesday the Oakland Raiders fired head coach Lane Kiffin. The Linehan firing made a bit more sense than the Kiffin firing, the Rams actually had some talent on the offensive side of the ball. The Raiders defense was sometimes mentioned as being good, but that was in major part because there was really nothing good to say about their offense. You all remember what your mothers said to your growing up right? “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” The first quarter of the season is done for many teams, add these few key points to your football psyche heading into week 5:

Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger needs to get his offense rolling sooner.

Defense Wins Championships, but Definitely Not TV Ratings

Last year when the Pittsburgh Steelers hosted a Monday Night Football game  against the Miami Dolphins, it was fun to watch. There was hardly any scoring, the final score was 3-0, but fun because they were playing in the rain and the field was a soaked sponge full of mud. While watching the game I thought the old NFL Films voice would chime in, “It was a rainy Monday night, and their was one thing that was for certain, this contest between the Steelers and Dolphins would be a muddy affair.” There was one time when the Dolphins punted and the ball stuck right in the ground when it landed! Now look me straight faced in the eye and tell me that’s not entertainment. This year was a little different story for the Steelers hosting the Baltimore Ravens, no mud and no rain, just a lot of ‘ugh’ from the Steelers offense. Midway through the third quarter the Steelers had amassed 69 total yards on offense, they had more punts than first downs. While most fans were about to poke their own eyes out, fans in SEC country were yelling “Now that’s real SEC football!” to their television sets. It was ugly, the fans were booing, and some were waving their ‘terrible towels‘ with the Steelers offense on the field in hopes that they would help their team. I think it did, the Steelers pushed on the gas and sent the game into overtime where place kicker Jeff Reed made the game winning field goal. After the game Reed said he gets too much credit and that his foot is the one that did it. Hmm, why do we give any quarterback credit? It’s just their arm. By that same principle, Michael Jordan deserves absolutely  ZERO credit, it was all his tongue.

Bengals WR Chad Ocho Cinco might look into changing his name to "Ohno Cinco"

Cleveland is Bad, but Cincinnati is Worse

This year’s battle of Ohio wasn’t for supremacy, but rather respectability. Both teams were 0-3, struggling, and needing to reroute themselves. The fact that Carson Palmer was out did not help the Bengals, who’s now horrible season is about imminent with an 0-4 start. Chad Whoever has been a silent guy so far this season, he really has nothing to pop his mouth off about. I doubt you’ll hear  ”Yeah, we may have lost, but nobody loses like we do, we lose in style!” coming from the Bengals locker room anytime soon. You know he wants to say something, but nobody would take him serious. Instead of clipping his comments up to their lockers for motivation, I’m sure opponents would read what he has to say and laugh it off like one of those silly Beetle Bailey comics. Maybe to add a little more spice we can throw Ohio State into the mix, no, that wouldn’t be fair. The Bengals and Browns would walk all over those little nuts. Here is another headline we could have used, “Kansas City is Bad, but Oakland is Worse.” The Chiefs broke an 11-game losing streak against the Denver Broncos and are eyeing November 20, their next game against the Raiders. That game may be the Chiefs only other in in 2008, these two teams will once compete for the battle of the #1 pick in next year’s draft. After the Dolphins coming out party last week, they are looking more at a pick #3-5.   

Titans/Jets QB Favre showed on Sunday he is still old but not broken.

Titan Favre Not Dead Yet

Why exactly do teams wear old uniforms from when their team had a different name? Beats me, can’t wait for the Oklahoma City Thunder (who might now have the most boring uniforms and logo in NBA history) to have retro-night and don those old Seattle Supersonics jerseys. Brett Favre had a career day against the Arizona Cardinals as a Titan. Not a Packer, not a Jet, a New York Titan (slightly different from a Tennessee Titan). Favre capitalized on 6 turnovers by Cardinals QB Kurt Warner and threw for 6 touchdown passes. On the same day the Green Bay Packers has a horrendous day against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Next Brett Favre to be Aaron Rodgers had his worst game yet, some were now calling out Green Bay management for not retaining Favre. Rodgers went down with a strained shoulder, with only rookies Brian Brohm and Matt Flynn to back him up, that’s not good for Packers fans. Favre would have been a lot nicer, but if they would have kept Favre then the Packers would have delayed their rebuilding process towards making a legitimate shot at a Super Bowl by one more year. There are two things that need be pointed out from this predicament. First, Rodgers played in “The Bay of Pigs” against a tough Tampa Bay defense, which Favre always struggled against. Second, Favre threw his 6 touchdown passes against the Cardinals…the Cardinals! Even largely criticized and banished Chicago Bears QB Rex Grossman could have had a hayday on them.

We’ve seen it in a variety of sports, their star player goes down and we all think that hard times are ahead for that sport. Michael Jordan left the NBA, then came back, then left again, the came back and all that time the NBA did not lose a step. Wayne Gretzky left the NHL, but hockey was just as unpopular as it was before he left. The NFL has always had a health pleothora of hall-of-famers and great players being reared in the league, so it has never had to worry about losing fan appeal. With every Michael Jordan and Wayne Gretzky that leaves, there is always the constant comparison of current players being the heir to the “throne.” The PGA Tour is currently experiencing that growing pain as Tiger Woods put up his clubs after winning the U.S. Open and re-aggravating his knee injury. For those that love healthy competition and the game of golf, the game has not changed. With Tiger out, other golfers are stealing the spotlight.  While the PGA Tour is no doubt worse off financially without Tiger, it is not lacking the least bit in drama.

Anthony Kim looks prepared to have a great career on the PGA Tour.

The Ryder Cup has always been a fun and exciting event to watch, the Revolutionary War of golf. International play always brings out more passion, please refer to the Olympics. What made the United States’ victory this year so sweet is that the team was expected to put up little fight against the name-worthy Europeans. For those that aren’t regular viewers of the PGA, they may have looked at the US roster and though, “who in the heck is that?” The US looked destined to lose yet again, dating their last win to 1999 when Justin Leonard sinked the Cup clinching putt. I remember that moment in golf history very distinctly, only because of what my mother said after Leonard sinked the putt and pranced around the green, “My, that guy has a shapely butt.” Further proof that you don’t have to be a hard-core golf fan to enjoy watching it. This year’s Ryder Cup was accompanied by Boo Weekley riding his driver like a bull, something I saw in “Happy Gilmore” but never thought I’d actually see on the PGA Tour. I’m still waiting for the day when people brings beach balls to a tour event. There might have been some at the Ryder Cup, but e never saw them on TV. European team member Lee Westwood did complain, along with other players, that the Kentucky crowd at Valhalla C.C. was a little ruckus and distracting. I believe Westwood was greeted in the clubhouse with a handkerchief to wipe his eyes with a big American flag on it. What made the victory just as sweet was how hard the Europeans took it, some were blaming it entirely on captain Nick Faldo (just as an FYI for those who aren’t aware, captains do not play in the Ryder Cup, they are more of a coach). I’ve never understood how a person that never took a golf shot all weekend can be blamed for the loss…

With the Ryder Cup out of the way, many PGA players focused on the the concluding tournament for the FedEx Cup. The FedEx Cup is much like NASCAR’s Sprint Cup Series, where points are earned throughout the year toward the Cup, and the winner is the one with the most cumulative points. The underlying drama with this one was seeing if Tiger could win it having sat out half the year (which he almost did last year without playing in a number of events), but it was Fijian Vijay Singh that ended up hoisting the Cup. For those of you looking for a reason to watch golf in the absence of Tiger, look no further then second year pro Anthony Kim. He’s going to be good, mark my words.

The Olympic torch has been dissipated in Beijing and will next make it’s way to London for the 2012 summer games. There were a lot of protesters following the torch relay everywhere it went displaying their displeasure with the Chinese government and how it so effectively uses it’s young country folk for profitable production. I can’t imagine seeing too many protesters following the torch run to London, unless they want to display their displeasure with monarchies and bad teeth. 

The ‘08 Beijing games were memorable in so many ways; we saw the most expensive opening and closing ceremonies ever, we witnessed swimming rise as a ‘must see’ event, we saw USA track and field crash and burn, we saw a ‘Redeem Team‘ make a formidable comparison to ‘The Dream Team,’ and we were reminded of the glaring problems that the Olympics have failed to obliterate after all these years. 

Michael Redd, Deron Williams, LeBron James, Jason Kidd, and Carlos Boozer show off their new bling, Olympic gold!

Sitting down to watch the opening ceremonies and seeing how long they are is similar to when a wife asks her husband to watch Anne of Green Gables or Pride and Prejudice with her, “What?!?!?! This thing is 53 hours long!!!” Okay, so the opening ceremonies aren’t that long, but they are creeping ever so closer. Right now they are in the same league as the Super Bowl pre-game show, which is just as long as the Super Bowl itself. The opening ceremonies were amazing, they combined both visual and performance arts that may never be matched. In many of the performances there were 2008 people on stage, seemingly improbable, but then we are reminded that there are over 1 billion people in China. Surely it wasn’t too difficult for the organizers to find a few thousand people willing to sacrifice lots of time to practice and perfect a routine show. A few Chinese people can go a long way! At one part of the ceremonies there was a cute little girl being repelled through the stadium serenading us with her angelic Chinese voice. A few days later news leaked that it wasn’t even her voice singing, but the voice of a “Quasimodo” Chinese girl backstage who wasn’t up to snuff to go on stage. Whoever made that decision definitely did not watch Ashley Simpson perform on Saturday Night Live. That single event squashed Ashley’s career like a bug, a bug living in her big bug sister’s shadow. It was rumored that the opening ceremonies alone cost upwards to $100 million! While the Chinese economy struggles to overcome such massive debts from hosting the Olympics, I’m sure all the poor rice farmers and McDonalds Happy Meal toy workers will think, “That ceremony was SO worth a pay cut!” 

There is one thing that the Olympics does not leave, and that is the feeling of you wanting more. Then again, it so happens that the summer Olympics always fall during the same year as the Presidential election. Right about now when the political conventions are on every channel I’ll gladly take more of anything…even a Hannah Montana 3-D concert. (Hey, there’s an idea for London, a 3-D opening ceremony!) 

The NBA and MLB have their respective All-Star Games, and the NFL has the Pro Bowl. The NBA and MLB have theirs in the middle of the season, the NFL’s is at the end. There is only one of them that has got it all together to have meaningful and entertaining All-Star festivities.

The late Sean Taylor and Chris Samuels at the '06 Pro Bowl. "Aw man! Do we have to play football?"

The NFL struggles the most with it’s Pro Bowl, which is held in Hawaii every year. Not only is viewership down in the company of the PBA and the Scripps National Spelling Bee contest, but it is just difficult to watch. The offensive sets that each conference uses are very basic, much like the ones run in your local pee-wee football league. The defenses are about the same, except for it doesn’t take a pack of them to tackle one player, just two or three. What the Pro Bowl needs is some sort of challenge involving top quarterbacks, just a little something to spice it up. I remember watching one quarterback challenge in particular with Brett Favre (pre-Wrangler endorsee), Warren Moon (Pre-annual DUI suspicion arrestee), and Steve Young (pre-bald spot in the back of his head). They had competitions testing accuracy, quickness, and strength. My favorite was the motorized carts with wide receiver cutouts attached to them. Three or four would cross each other at a time and the QBs would have to hit them with footballs that had paint on the tips. The slower/closer carts were less points then the ones that were faster and further away. As it stands, the Pro Bowl is a dried baked potato that’s been sitting under the heat lamps at Wendy’s; no butter, no chives, no cheese, just plain and stale. The Pro Bowl is nothing more than a congratulatory vacation package to Hawaii for the players and cheap entertainment for the fans.

Amare Stoudamire and Tim Duncan arguing over who has to guard LeBron James.

The NBA has got a good thing going with it’s pre-game entertainment. The new Skills Challenge (designed to test passing accuracy and quickness of guards) fits in quite well with the Slam-Dunk Contest and 3-Point Shootout. Now all they need is a competition for the centers…hmm…maybe they can have 20 elementary school kids all shooting at the same time and see who can reject the most shots. Entertaining and fun for the kids, I think we have a winner! The All-Star Game on the other hand is quite a snoozefest. What the game includes is a bunch of “All-Stars” showboating and not playing defense, not to mention as many flubeed alley-oop attempts as you’ll see with a couple of 12-year olds playing on a 6-foot hoop. The past few years, it has also turned into a ‘runway’ for Adidas to show off some new funky uniform. Here’s a gallery of All-Star uniforms through the ages:

1990ish / 1995 / 2004 / 2005 / 2006 / 2007 West 2007 East / 2008 West 2008 East

The NBA has been criticized for its All-Star Game because of it’s selection process and the fact that half the players do not deserve to play. In 2007, Shaq played a whole 10 games the first half of the season, yet started for the Eastern Conference team. Allen Iverson sat out almost the whole first half of the season with the 76ers (in the Eastern Conference), and was traded to the Nuggets (in the Western Conference) and was consequently a starter for the West team. Then there’s the stigma around Yao Ming, how is he voted the starter every year? oh yeah, he has a billion votes pouring in every year from China alone. A more fitting name for the game should be the ‘Market’-Stars Game.

Josh Hamilton hit a record 28 home runs in the first round of the '08 Home Run Derby.

Lastly, there is Major League Baseball, the only league to get things right. The one things that makes the MLB All-Star Game the cream of the crop is that it is meaningful.Come October there will be plenty of baseball fans who will wonder, “Who won the All-Star Game?” That is the case because the league(National or American) that wins that All-Star Game gets home field advantage in the World Series! In the NBA and NFL next to nobody cares enough to remember who won because it doesn’t matter! in the 2008 MLB All-Star Game, the American League won in the 15th inning, capping the most watched All-Star game for MLB since 2002. Similar to the NBAs dunk contest, MLB has the Home Run Derby, which adds to the excitement and entertainment value of the All-Star Game. It is a glorified batting cage for the players and a spectacle to watch. This past derby featured Josh Hamilton hitting a record 28 home runs in the first round. Let’s be honest though, if my grandpa was throwing me fast balls like 71-year old Clay Council was throwing Hamilton, I’d be hitting that many too.

The NBA has been able to achieve what few other sports have, and that is keeping themselves visible and newsworthy practically all year round. The fact that they have extended their playoffs into June has definitely helped. Only weeks after the NBA Finals concluded, there is the NBA Draft. After the NBA Draft there are summer leagues, and the crazy second season of the NBA (free agency signings and trades). This year they have another luxury, the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing, featuring the ‘Redeem Team.’ By the time you know it another season is practically rolling around. 

The NFL, although much more anticipated I believe, seems to disappear from our minds for months in between seasons. Between the Super Bowl in February, the NFL Draft in April, and the select few players that feel it a necessity to be arrested for countless offenses, not much happens to fill the void between seasons. But wait, what about that one crazy indoor football league during spring and summer, the AFL? Although the AFL has been marketed much more the past few years, I’m not all too convinced that it is for the hard-core NFL fans.

Like every sport, the AFL has it’s pros and cons, I will present those and let the people decide what they think about the AFL.

Pro- The AFL football is magnificently designed with a gold base color and black ‘racing stripes’ to make you think that the quarterbacks throw it faster. Also, all balls that go into the stands are allowed to be kept by the fans.  

Con- The AFL is a pass-happy league. It is much like the old Madden football video games where you would only pass the ball because the running backs were slower than the offensive lineman. The AFL’s all-time rushing leader is Michael Kelly, he rushed 1,617 yards in his 12 years in the league. That’s an average of 134 yards per year, an average achieved by some NFL players per game. Much like the old Madden video games, the scores are inflated, which becomes nauseating after a while. 

Pro- The field goals are much more exciting with the post being half the size of a NFL post . The AFL posts also have nets on each side so a missed field goal can be rebounded and returned by the opposing team

Con- Nobody hardly makes field goals…

Pro- The field is surrounded by walls which provide exciting collisions and bring the fans at the games closer to the action.

Con- The walls make harder hits than the players.

Pro- No matter what your favorite team’s record is, they will most likely make the playoffs. Last year the Utah Blaze made the playoffs after posting a 6-10 record. 

Con- The playoff race isn’t that exciting if everyone gets in. It’s almost as exciting as you favorite school in college football playing in the Whatcrappybowlwilltheycomeupwithnext.com Bowl.

If you are at all enticed to watch an AFL game now, you will have to wait until next year. The ’08 season ended with the Philadelphia Soul (which is partly owned by singer Jon Bon Jovi) defeated the San Jose Sabrecats (which are not owned by anyone cool). Give the AFL a try, you just might like it, or you just might think that it is nothing more than a NFL Development League, on crack. 

I don’t know what is worse: having to wait 2 weeks for the Super Bowl, being a sports writer that has to find a Super Bowl topic that hasn’t been beaten like a dead horse, or the innocent public having to read the crap that the sports writers put in front of us. Today, all 3 have joined forces, in the form of the crappiest article ever written on espn.com. David Thorpe of espn.com posted an article this morning entitled, “Best football players from NBA rosters.” In this article, Thorpe goes through a football roster and plugs NBA players into every position. In his opening paragraph he wrote, “take a second to imagine the kind of havoc some of these guys would wreak on the football field.” This has to be the most ludicrous notion I have ever heard, that basketball players can make a switch to the NFL. I don’t think Thorpe has even watched any of the fights this season, none of them can even land a clean punch. Heck Thorpe, the golf season just started, why don’t you write an article on best women’s golfers in the NBA, that would for sure involve Mike Miller, Mike Dunleavy, Troy Murphy, and Adam Morrison (he wouldn’t be the first LPGA golfer with a moustache). How about the best basketball players from soccer? I can see David Beckham running the point and Freddy Adu throwing down some LeBron-esque dunks! Ooh, what about John Daly on the pitcher’s mound? Hey, if David Wells can do it, anybody can. Better yet, what about professional wrestlers in baseball? They would fit right in with the steroids and all; however, their flopping abilities may be better suited to the NBA. If you are not an insider subscriber to espn.com, I’m terribly sorry you cannot participate in reading this laughfest of an article, maybe there is a reason they make you pay to read that stuff, it’s that bad.