After a long and grueling season, the NBA Playoffs are finally here. The Los Angeles Lakers are still the team to beat in the West with several worthy contenders below them, but the powers have been shifted and distributed in the East. With Kevin Garnett being sidelined, the Boston Celtics have been deducted to just a really good team. Usually that’s okay, but this year the Orlando Magic are also a really good team and the Cleveland Cavaliers are a great team. Lebron James and the Cavs and a record-setting season (by Cleveland standards) and have taken claim to home court advantage throughout the Playoffs. The Cavs were 39-2 at home this season (one loss was with all the starters sitting to rest for the Playoffs), so you have to believe that the Eastern Conference is Cleveland’s to lose. As for the Western Conference, the Lakers are at the top of the pack but it really is anyone’s to win. You can throw out “intimidation” in the West, no team is afraid of playing the other. Here’s a quick rundown of all the first round matchups in each conference with some predictions:

Eastern Conference

#1 Cleveland Cavaliers vs. #8 Detroit Pistons – How fast the Pistons have fallen and how quickly the Cavs surrounded LeBron with some talent after he made hints of wanting to leave Cleveland. After firing their head coach to move in a different direction, the Pistons have only gotten worse. Cavs win series 4-1.

#2 Boston Celtics vs. #7 Chicago Bulls – The Bulls made a late push after some great deals at the trade deadline, but even without Garnett, the Celtics will start their Title defense with a major statement. Celtics win series 4-0.

#3 Orlando Magic vs. #6 Philadelphia 76ers - The Eastern Conference hasn’t been stacked so deep in a long time, the Magic are the best #3 seed they’ve had in a long time. The 76ers simply don’t have the firepower to keep up with “Superman” and Co.  Magic win series 4-1.

#4 Atlanta Hawks vs. #5 Miami Heat – This will be the most tightly fought battle in the East, Dwayne Wade vs. the Hawks. Wade will carry over his superb season into the Playoffs. If the Hawks proved anything last year in the Playoffs, it’s that they are a resilient squad. Heat win series 4-3.

Western Conference

#1 Los Angeles Lakers vs. #8 Utah Jazz – The Jazz are prehaps the most pesky #8 seed that we’ve seen in years, but they stink on the road and don’t have home court advantage. Lakers win series 4-2.

#2 Denver Nuggets vs. #7 New Orleans Hornets –  Who’s afraid of the big bad Nuggets??? The answer to that is simple-nobody. Chris Paul and the Hornets will make Denver work for every shot and try to quicken the game. Hornets win 4-2

#3 San Antonio Spurs vs. #6 Dallas Mavericks -  The Spurs are battered and bruise, the Mavericks are on a roll, amd Mark Cuban is still a freak. All that chalks up to be one entertaining series. Spurs win series 4-3.

#4 Portland Trailblazers vs. #5 Houston Rockets – Of all the teams in the West, Portland is the one that looks most likely to take down the Lakers in the Playoffs, but the Rockets are no pushover. Sad to say  that they are better without Tracy McGrady, they won’t have to deal with his curse of never winning a Playoff series this year. Blazers win series 4-2.

We left a few disappointed last week when we didn’t release a report card that could have gotten a coveted ‘A’ or ‘B,’ but just as many were relieved not to get their less than satisfactory grades. Love it or hate it, we are back at it again this week, with our second to last report card of the regular season:

John Stockton, the NBA all-time leader in steals and assists, was elected the the Basketball Hall of Fame this week.

A – The ‘09 Basketball Hall of Fame Class - One of the best parts about sports is honoring the greats is retiring their jerseys and even better,  enshrining them into their respective Halls of Fame. This year’s class is headlined by Michael Jordan, the greatest player of all time, if we forget about his two-year debacle with the Washingotn Wizards. Behind him is John Stockton, the greatest point guard of all time,  David Robinson and Jerry Sloan (some may forget he has his jersey retired by the Chicago Bulls). In the modern era of NBA marketing, there will be several players disappointed when they retire and aren’t enshrined into the Hall of Fame. Carmelo Anothony and Gilbert Arenas will headline the list of ones left out, but at least they will have their jerseys being worn by kids in third world countires around the globe.

B – The Billups Factor - The Denver Nuggets have their place in the Playoffs. it’s the seventh or eighth seed with implosion and dissappointment in their imminent future. At least they still have that one series they won over the #1 seed Seattle Supersonics back in 1994 was Dikembe Mutumbo was 20ish…maybe. The Nuggets had thought they had changed their fortune when they traded for Allen Iverson, but it was trading away A.I. that vaulted them to where they are now. Iverson was a scorer and a play-maker, but never a leader. When the Nuggets traded for Chauncey Billups early this season, they got everything they needed and are now sitting comfortably in the #2 seed. Lost in why the Nuggets are where they are is Chris “Birdman” Andersen. The tatooed, illegal drug-using, failure of dunking (refer to his tatoos, his being suspended a year for drug use, and him failing miserably in the ‘05 Dunk Contest) has contributed greatly this year in the posistion left vacant by Marcus Camby.

C – The NBA Green Week - In an effort to remain in good standing with the environmentalist and Al Gore, the NBA had it’s first “Green Week” to raise awareness of recycling and raising funds to improve the earth. As part of the week of festivities, players went around to their local communities planting trees, educating children on being green, and skipping in fields. The league also had every player wear  NBA Green tees over their jerseys on the bench (that you can buy on NBA.com for a very green price of $24.99), and a sleuth of teams sported green jerseys. Those teams with green jerseys included the Nuggets, Chicago Bulls, and Boston Celtics…imagine that.

D – The Sliding Sixers - If there is one way you don’t want to go into the Playoffs, it’s on a losing streak. Right now the Philadelphia 76ers are doing just that, having lost their last five games and dropping two spots in the Eastern Conference seedings. The Sixers had been more than impressive in their efforts to get a high seed on the Playoffs because they were doing it without Elton Brand, their huge offseason addition. Basically, the Sixers are now doing what they were expected to do, which isn’t as disappointing, but no more desirable.

F – The Offtune Jazz - The Utah Jazz did not play a single game with their full starting lineup until late February and went on a roll to win 12 straight. For whatever reason, the Jazz have fallen hard the last couple weeks. Their reputation of being a horrible road team has not changed, the Oklahoma City Thunder have a better road record than the Jazz this year. This past week the Jazz have dropped road contests to the Dallas Mavericks and San Antonio Spurs (they have not won in San Antonio in 10 years), and home contests to the lowly Minnesota Timberwolves and Golden State Warriors. For the Jazz’s pathetic effort of late, they will most likely win a first round butt whooping at the hands of the Los Angles Lakers. CONGRATUALTIONS!!!

We’ve taken a couple weeks off here at JIB Sports because we have been relocating our office. We are now moved and ready to get rolling again. The NBA season is winding down,  and the Playoff pictures are no clearer than two weeks ago.  We’re back with another report card, only one more left in the season.

A – The “Work in Progress” Trailblazers- It was only a few years ago that the Portland Trailblazers completely overhauled their roster. At the time, they looked several years out to being decent, but their several trades and draft picks have already turned the corner. When the Blazers drafted Brandon Roy in 2006, they did so based on his performance in the NCAA tournament with his Washington Huskies. With Roy as their nucleus, the Blazers have transformed into a contender in the NBA. They have the look of the Sacramento Kings of old, they are stacked with talent but their window of opportunity might close soon because their talented players might go elsewhere for more money sooner than later.

B –  Cavs Making Franchise History – The Cleveland Cavaliers have a rich history. They have had many different uniforms, we know that because this year’s team has worn more throwback uniforms than their actual uniforms. They have also had many winning seasons and been posterized more by Michael Jordan than any other team in the East. Amidst all their “storied history,” no Cavs team has ever won more than eleven straight games, until this season. LeBron James will most likely win the MVP, Mike Brown will most likely win the Coach of the Year award, and the Cavs are also going to set a franchise record for most home wins. Nothing short of an NBA Title will satisfy the Cavs this year, which is sad because they’ve had an amazing season regardless.

C – The Stumbling Spurs – At the beginning of February, there was the Los Angeles Lakers, the San Antonio Spurs and everybody else. While everybody has been duking it out for the 3-8  spots in the Western Conference Playoffs, the Spurs have slipped. The Spurs have stumbled, going 9-7 in the last month, and opening the front door for several teams to jump them in the Playoff seedings. While the Spurs got younger when they lost Robert Horry, they are still an old team and as such their bald spots are getting  bigger. With younger teams like the Trailblazers, Hornets, and Jazz on the upswing, the Spurs are definitely on the downswing.

D – “Brackets” -Whenever March Madness rolls around, in all it’s glory, it’s only a matter of time before someone somewhere comes up with a lame spin off of the tournament. This year it’s NBA.com, and they have a NBA dance team bracket, the battle to find the hottest dance team. There was one good bracket I heard about, the breakfast cereal bracket, Cinnamon Life was the #1 seed.

F – The NBA and Mark Cuban’s Soap Opera- It happens every year, it’s expected, Mark Cuban makes disparaging comments about referees and the NBA fines him $25,000. This year Mark Cuban has been fined several times, twice involving complaints against J.R. Smith of the Denver Nuggets. As horrible as NBA refs can be at times, they are made untouchable by David Stern. He’s made a NBA society where criticizing refs is just not politically correct. Although most of Cuban’s comments are warranted, he comes off as the parent that embarrasses their kid at a recreational basketball game by yelling at the refs.

A lot of the top teams have hit road blocks this past week. All the streaking teams got tripped up and are trying to get their feet under them to make another run. It seems that teams jostle all week long for Playoff position only to end up in the same place we started the week before. The Playoff chase in both conferences is down to nine teams each, the only questions left are who will be left out and where the rest will be seeded. Time for another report card, it’s almost time for final exams (the Playoffs)… 

Joe Johnson and the Atlanta Hawks have proven they can hang with anyone this year and beat them!

A - Atlanta Proving Us All Wrong- The Atlanta Hawks were the record holders of one of the most undesired records, most consecutive years without making the Playoffs. They broke that record of eight years during the 2007-08 season when they made the Playoffs and gave the Boston Celtics all they could handle. The Hawks peaked at the right time, but some wondered if they had reached the peak and would start sliding back down the mountain again. With the Playoffs coming upon us soon, the Hawks are holding onto the #4 seed in the Eastern Conference, and are almost guaranteed their first winning season since 1998-99. The Hawks have proven they are a team to be reckoned with this year, a position the Hawks have not been in since the days of Dominique Wilkins, Stacey Augmon, and Danny Manning.

B – Chicago Showing Signs of Life - The Chicago Bulls are one of those teams that has had a lot of talent, but not the right combination of talent. Let’s just say their “Captain Planet,” team is better than the individuals collectively, ability is lacking. With their latest trade to acquire Brad Miller and John Salmons from the Sacramento Kings, they look like they have finally tweaked their roster enough to win consistently. The Bulls are currently sitting at 30-37, pathetic by all means, but good enough to be just one game out of the Playoffs in the Eastern Conference. The Bulls are 7-7 since making their multi-player trade in February, not stellar, but consistent!

C -  The Fallout of the Pistons - The Detroit Pistons won the NBA Title in 2004 and they thought they had their own little dynasty in the making. The Pistons went on to make four straight trips to the Eastern Conference Finals, but never to the NBA Finals again. After their latest failure to make it to The Finals, they decided they needed a new direction and fired Head Coach Flip Saunders. Earlier this season thy also went on a whim and traded away their Finals MVP Chauncey Billups to the Denver Nuggets for Allen Iverson. Amid all these “changes” to get better, two things have happened. One, they have gotten older, and two, they have gotten worse. Richard Hamilton is so old that his noticeable baldness forced him to cut off his cornrows this year. The Pistons window of opportunity is closing fast.

D – Latin Night(s) – The average English speaking person should be able to easily distinguish some Spanish words. Likewise, the average Latin person should be able to just as easily distinguish some English words. For these reasons, it bewilders me that the NBA has Latin Night complete with Latin jerseys! El Heat, Los Mavs, Los Bulls, Los Rockets, Nuevo York, who are these teams??? Chinese Night, on the other hand, would be awesome! I guess the NBA is really hurting on revenue from jerseys. I can only imagine the conversations in the NBA marketing department…”Those Bulls jerseys aren’t selling!!” “Just put a “Los” in front of the “Bulls” and send them to Mexico. It will be a fuego sale!! ”  

F – Dwayne Wade’s New Fashion Statement - There have been a lot of fads that have come and gone in the NBA. There was the time when everyone had cornrows in their hair, then there were the “LIVE STRONG” wannabe wrist bands. One of the weirdest ones was a few years a go when some players would wear elbow and knee pads on their forearms and shins. This week, Dwayne Wade reached a level of fashion stupidity yet to be touched, he wore an eye paint strip (like football players) under one eye! The strips are called “black paint,” or “eye black,” and are helpful in reducing glare from a players vision. The only thing glaring in Miami on Saturday was D-Wade’s unintelligence.

Last week’s Report Card was filled with grades for amazing individual performances, this week’s has a handful of grades for team performances. There are a lot of streaking teams that are picking up momentum going into the last few weeks of the regular season and getting good marks for it:

With their win over the Knicks, the Bobcats now have six straight wins, a franchise record.

A – Larry Brown’s Magic in Charlotte - When Larry Brown was hired as the Charlotte Bobcats head coach last summer, there was a lot of speculation on how Brown would fair. Brown had been known for his ability to take mediocre teams and make them great. He had done it in New Jersey, Indiana, Philadelphia, and Detroit, but it’s what happened in New York that left people wondering. Brown’s last coaching stint with the New York Knicks started nice for him, a multi-million dollar contract, but ended very badly. Brown was fired and Isiah Thomas was his predecessor, it was that bad. What Brown has been able to do with the Bobcats has turned some heads and changed some minds, maybe Brown hasn’t lost his luster. After essentially retooling the whole team (they have made three trades and played 23 players this year) the Bobcats have won six straight, a franchise record. They might not make the Playoffs this year, but they have promise in their future.

B – Jazz Keep on Winning - The Utah Jazz have played six games all year with their entire starting lineup healthy, the result has been six wins. What’s even better is that those six wins have come during a current 11-game winning streak, their longest winning streak since the days of John Stockton and Karl Malone. In that time, the Jazz have moved from the #9 spot in the Western Conference Playoff race to #4. The only thing standing in the way of the Jazz and continuing this streak is a brutal road trip. It’s not necessarily brutal because of the competition, but just because they stink on the road. Jazz are to road games as men are to watching musicals with their wives…I hope my wife doesn’t read this. Last year the Jazz were the only team to make the Playoffs with a losing road record, and unless fortunes change they will probably do it again. The Jazz are currently sitting at 12-17 on the road, but as this season has manifested, it is one of ups and downs. The Jazz were very down with a few missing tools earlier, now they are back and things have never looked more up.

C – Hornets’ Good Fortune - Let’s take a walk down memory lane. Remember about a month ago when the New Orleans Hornets were trying to dump an injured Tyson Chandler and his big contract so they traded him to the Oklahoma City Thunder only to have him sent back because he failed his physical? Yeah, that must have been embarrassing, but the Hornets are benefiting from their “misfortune” now with Chandler back. The Hornets are putting together a little streak of their own, seven wins in a row, and all since Chandler returned to the lineup. The Thunder’s team doctor was the goat a month ago that failed Chandler on his physical, now the man is considered as the grand marshal for Mardi Gras next year. Well, that is if the Hornets keep winning, and if Chandler’s contract magically loses a zero on the end of it this off-season. Chances are at least one of the two will not happen and that someone other than the Thunder’s team doctor will be throwing out beads next year in New Orleans.

D – Shaq and Van Gundy’s Spat - It all started when a 325 pound man over seven feet tall did something that no man that size should do, he flopped. Shaquille O’Neal has been an anti-flop advocate since he entered the league, probably because the thought of someone knocking him over is laughable, therefore making it impossible for him to flop. However, Tuesday night in Orlando, Dwight Howard did a spin move and Shaq fell to the ground with style. After the game, Magic head coach Stan Van Gundy called out to Shaq and told him to play like a man. After those comments, we knew the verbal bashing gloves were on, Van Gundy struck first with a jab. Shaq came back swinging saying that Van Gundy’s coaching career is a “flop,” and so continued their spat all week. If Shaq had any sense left in his 37 year old mind, he would simply own up to flopping or just ignore Van Gundy. Flopping demolishes the integrity of the game, and so does fighting like kids at the monkey bars during recess.

F – Carmelo’s Attitude – If there is one player who has done little to earn star treatment, it’s Carmelo Anthony. This past week Anthony was handed a one-game suspension for refusing to come out of a game. Suspension is something Anthony is familiar with, he’s been suspended for fighting, a suspected DUI, suspected drug possession, and for refusing to GO back into a game. No doubt Anthony has a lot of talent, but he “does not work well with others,” and can be more of a distraction than a help.

There are only a couple months of the year that please so many sports fans at the same time. First there is October, it’s the beginning of the NBA season, the MLB World Series, and both college football and the NFL are in full swing. Second there is of course March! For die-hard baseball fans, they have been waiting since October for Spring Training to start. March also brings us the beginning of NFL free agency, the NBA playoff chases tighten, and there is pure madness in NCAA basketball. Let’s take a look at each sport and what’s going down with each right now:

MLB Spring Training – How it is that baseball fans get so excited about “pre-season” games??? You would think that 160+ regular season games would be enough to satisfy fans, but that is where you would be wrong. This pre-season is a bit different for baseball this year because they have the bi-annual World Baseball Classic. The WBC has been successful in finding it’s little niche, but only because the Olympics axed baseball from the Games. So far the controversey surrounding Alex Rodriguez has been the talk of Spring Training. If you haven’t heard, Alex was NOT taking Tic Tacs when he was with the Texas Rangers back in 2001.

NFL Free Agency – Nothing reinforces your respect and admiration (or lack thereof) for professional athletes more than seeing them make millions and still demand more. So far the headlines are two free agents not available and one that is very available. Kurt Warner resigned with the Arizona Cardinals, Ray Lewis resigned with the Baltimore Ravens, and Terrell Owens was released by the Dallas Cowboys. You know the economy must be bad if even Owens is out of a job. He is the best wide reciever in NFL history, just ask him.

NBA Playoff Chases - There are really two halves to the NBA season for fans. The first half is where they solely cheer for their team to win. The second half is when fans start considering playoff seeding and not only cheer for their team to win, but also actively hope the teams in front of theirs loses. The Eastern Conference is already narrowed down to three teams: the Boston Celtics, Cleveland Cavaliers, and Orlando Magic, nobody else has a shot. Meanwhile in the West, much like every year, it’s anyone’s game. The Los Angeles Lakers and San Antonio Spurs are on top, but they have both shown they are succeptible on the road. No teams are going to tank the season this year for a good lottery pick because there are hardly any good players declaring for the NBA Draft this year.    

NCAA March Madness – Conference Championship week is upon us , which is where many of the automatic berths for the NCAA Tournmanet will be determined. As it is rightfully called, “March Madness” is the perfect fourm for David to beat Goliath. With a 64-team field, mostly filled with “underdogs,” everybody will be looking for this year’s “feel good story.” The Tournmanet itself is a feel good story when you compare it to college football’s BCS. Here are a few tips while filling out your bracket:
-All four #1 seeds have never made it to the Final Four
-7-10 and 6-11 matchups are the most likely to have an upset
-The Big East is very overrated and
-If you are torn between two teams, decide which team’s mascot would win in a street fight.

As the playoffs inch closer and closer, there are many individuals players kicking it up a notch and leading their teams to victory. Three of our five grades this week were given for such performances. Who got an ‘F’ this week? Stick around and find out! 

It's a surprise Shaq hasn't broken more rims in his older age.

A- Shaq Attack - Ever since Shaquille O’Neal was traded to the Phoenix Suns he has struggled. The “Big Diesel” seemed to be running on empty and about ready for retirement. Many have suspected this past All-Star Game, where he was the co-MVP with Kobe Bryant, would be his last. Apparently Shaq has different plans, the Big Diesel has been running as efficiently as an economy car the past week! Last Friday Shaq scored 45 against the Toronto Raptors, the most points he’s scored in six years. The last time Shaq scored 45+ he sported a Los Angeles Lakers uniform. Shaq followed up his 45 with 33 points against the Lakers in a win on Sunday.  With Amar’e Stoudemire and Steve Nash out with injuries, the 37 year old Shaq is looking every bit like the dominant force he used to be.

B- Dwayne Wade’s Attack - The Miami Heat’s star Dwayne Wade said, “When I’m angry, I attack.” After taking two elbows right in the mouth from two separate New York Knicks players, Wade got angry and he attacked. Down fifteen in the fourth quarter, Wade fueled a 19-0 run for the Heat and left the Knicks in the rearview mirror. Wade scored 24 in the fourth quarter alone, which was seven more points than the Knicks combined. Another person that attacks when he’s mad is the Incredible Hulk, but that wouldn’t be a fitting nickname for Wade. For starters, Wade doesn’t wear green, making him have a partial appearance of the Hulk. Also, Wade does not play baseball, which means he doesn’t use steroids to have the physical makeup of the Hulk. We’ll just stick with calling him “Flash,” or “D-Wade.”

C- Nate Robinson’s “Shake N’ Bake” – For some reason, blame it on American culture, celebrities at sporting events usually garner more attention than the game itself. In last week’s matchup of the Indiana Pacers and the Kicks in New York, it was actor Will Ferrell that was hogging the camera. Ferrell and Knicks guard Nate Robinson kept shouting “Shake N’ Bake” toward each other, a famous line from one of Ferrell’s most popoular movie “Talladega Knights.” A fist pound with Ferrell and 41 points later, Robinson and the Knicks beat the Pacers in dramatic fashion. Robinson is an inspiration for little people everywhere, if that 5′9″ guy can do it then so can you!  

D- NBA Stimulus Package - Everybody is rolling out stimulus packages, not only is the government, but also the NBA. There was even a commercial on TV for Domino’s Pizza rolling out a stimulus package of cheap pizzas! The NBA has done a much better job of selling their stimulus package as a positive thing for the league. According to commisioner David Stern, the $200 million borrowed to distribute to teams was taken to strengthen the league. Stern is somewhat believable, if this was the NHL we’d have a lot harder time buying into it.  

F- ‘Sheed and his T’s- In classic “Technical Wallace” fashion, Detroit Piston ’s forward Rasheed Wallace was kicked out of another game because of his childlike behavior. After recieving one technical for arguing in a game against the New Orleans Hornets, Wallace got another technical for throwing a towel into the stands. His towel throwing wasn’t over though, he then grabbed another towel and threw it towards the ref. For some reason, we don’t beleive Wallace was just trying to be nice and give the ref a towel to wipe his brow. With those two technicals, Wallace has now received fourteen in the year, two shy of an automatic suspension. Wallace was fined $25,000 by the NBA for his actions, not Wallace’s first fine and surely not his last.

Every golf season begins with several weeks of exhibition tournaments. There are basically two types; there are those in Hawaii that make us all envious we had that nice of weather in January and then there are the celebrity pro-ams. Every other sport has a “pre-season,” so it only makes sense that golf would too. It is in mid-February when the competition really starts, and this season it started in a big way with the return of Tiger Woods from his knee injury. Tiger has a special talent, he’s a gifted athlete and he makes people want to watch golf. In an ESPN.com poll, over 50% of the nation that was polled said that they will only watch golf if Tiger is playing. Why is that? Here are five reasons we came up with that may qualify:

Ever wonder why Tiger only wears red on Sundays? To support the Chicago Bulls of course!

(1) Tiger is passionate and fun to watch
(2) Tiger has his own line of Gatorade
(3) Tiger has his own video game franchise (Step off John Madden)
(4) Tiger is married to a super model
(5) Tiger inspires others to play

Although not in our top five, his ethnicity also contributes to his popularity, and anyone that says differently would be Rodriguezing (that’s the new slang for lying). Tiger is in fact less African-American than President Obama, and he’s only 50%!!! Although Tiger is still four behind Jack Nicklaus in Major wins, Tiger has done something Nicklaus did not, and that is he revolutionized golf. Just like Michael Jordan did to basketball, Tiger has made many want to be like Tiger. While you can not play basketball and still respect Jordan’s greatness, you cannot understand Tiger’s greatness unless you have played golf. Although there are many outstanding golfers that have come and gone in the past 100 years, Tiger possesses a major intimidation factor over his opponents. Even though Tiger just came off of knee surgery, we are still surprised he lost in the second round of the Accenture Match Play Championship. The presence of Tiger will usually cause opponents to shrink and not think straight. Much like a football or basketball player needs time to get their legs under them after an injury, Tiger’s loss this week is merely evidence he needs to get his legs under him as well.

Baring any major injury, it is foreseeable that Tiger will get at least four more Major wins and pass Jack Nicklaus. Critics are always out there, and one widely held belief is that golfers now have a huge advantage on players of old. Among the advantages modern players hold is the technology in equipment and the creation of energy drinks and power bars to give them better stamina on the course. Okay, the energy drinks and power bars may have been a rumor we heard, there isn’t much validity to it. The equipment has widely contributed to the length and accuracy that a player can hit a ball. Not to mention, golf balls themselves have come a long way. There are golf balls that can either fly higher, roll longer, feel softer, or bite better. I have the balls that are made to stay short and left, at least that’s how they come off my clubs. If you have ever seen an old golf club you’ll notice how the woods are actually wood and all the shafts are stiff. Nowadays it seems every golfer is hitting a frozen turkey with a flex shaft, which will give the bullwhip effect to the club and make the ball launch off the club face. When all is said and done, you cannot dispute Tiger’s or anyone’s success because of equipment. You might as well say NBA players in the past were at a disadvantage because they didn’t have cool shoes, and their short shorts did not allow for proper circulation down south, which both negatively impacted their performances. One of the great things about golf is that the players compete only against themselves, and the course, there is no subjective judging or outside influences. A player either hits it long and straight or they don’t. Pretty simple, right? While the NBA searched desperately to find another Jordan, golf will be equally as challenged to find another Tiger when he retires. Luckily they shouldn’t have to worry about that for a long time!

The All-Star break is over, which means we’re in the home stretch of the NBA regular season and playoffs seedings start to really take shape. Let’s get on with another report card, academic style!

Ronnie Brewer and the Jazz are on a roll, but it's still yet to be seen if they can continue their momentum on the road.

A – Utah Jazz Hitting Stride - The Utah Jazz have had a roller coaster week since beating the Los Angeles Lakers right before the All-Star break. The Jazz kept the momentum rolling by beating the Boston Celtics this past week, becoming the third team to beat both participants of last year’s Finals. Last Friday, the Jazz’s longtime owner, Larry H. Miller, passed away after fighting courageously to survive type 2 diabetes. Miller was considered by many to be one of the most passionate owners in the NBA, he kept the Jazz in Utah. Fans in Seattle can only hope they had an owner as great as Miller and that they would still have their SuperSonics. The Jazz played an inspired game on Saturday in memory of Miller and beat the New Orleans Hornets. In head-to-head matchups Deron Williams is now 13-2 against Chris Paul. The Jazz, despite losing the most games to player injuries this year, is in the Western Conference playoff hunt and only four games from homecourt advantage in the first round. With Carlos Boozer hopefully coming back from injury this week, the  Jazz will play their first game of the year with their whole starting lineup healthy.

B - Charles Barkley Returns - Charles Barkley made a bonehead mistake last month when he was caught driving under the influence. A lesser known, non-athlete would be sitting in jail right, but the “Mound of Rebound” is back on the set of the NBA on TNT. His T-Mobile commercials are back (thank goodness, those generic ones were doing nothing to help them) and he is apologetic for his act of stupidity. Barkley mentioned on his first show back that he might consider giving up drinking alcohol altogether, if that’s what “professionals” tell him to do. We don’t know what professional would tell Barkley that drinking is fine, but our advise to Barkley is to stop paying “professionals” to be your shoulder angel and listen to us, “Drinking and driving is a no-no.” While we in no way condone Barkely’s actions, we are glad to see him back. He brings a lot of knowledge and personality to the show, the past six weeks without Barkley have been like watching The View without that one white woman…if a name just came to your mind then maybe this website isn’t for you.

C - The Good Ol’ Suns - We don’t know whether to praise the Phoenix Suns or slap them in the face for taking so long to realize that they never had a problem with their offense. Last season, Suns management thought they needed to change their offense so they brought in Shaquille O’Neal and slowed things down. To further enforce their change in philosophy, they hired Terry Porter as head coach and let go the Mike D’Antoni. Then this season they traded Raja Bell and Boris Diaw for Jason Richardson, and fired Terry Porter. With Alvin Gentry at the helm, the Suns averaged 140+ points/game until they lost to the Celtics. With the Celtics loss aside, it was nice to see the good ol’ Suns, it’s just too bad they lost Amar’e Stoudemire for the year and all their key players are closer to retirement than winning a Championship. It doesn’t take a genius to realize their only problem before was that they didn’t play defense.

D – The Trade Deadline - As the NBA trade deadline loomed this past week, there were a lot of rumors swirling around. According to the experts, a lot of teams were talking turkey, big trades were in waiting. When the deadline came and went, all we got was a bunch of over-hyped luncheon meat trades. While there were a few moves, they were nothing like the fire sale we thought was about to happen. With the bad economy (anybody else getting sick of hearing about that?) a lot of teams are in a financial bind, especially the ones in smaller markets. The Los Angeles Clippers, Milwaukee Bucks, and Hornets are among the teams that are losing more money than they make and of them were unsuccessful in shedding a large contract from their team. It would be so much easier if teams could rid themselves of poor performing players by simply putting their torches out, “Survivor” style.

F – Tyson Chandler’s Toe - The Hornets were actually of of the few teams that were successful in shipping off one of their overpaid players, but only for a matter of days. The Hornets traded injury-riddled Tyson Chandler to the Oklahoma City Thunder in a move to simply clear salary cap space. Chandler had been having knee problems, but it was a past problem with his surgically repaired toe that caused him to fail the physical. The Thunder’s team doctor, who said there is a risk Chandler might re-injure his toe, is the one that initially performed the surgery on it a few years ago. You have to wonder what was going through that doctor’s head while examining Chandler’s toe, probably something along the lines of, “Whoops…” In the end, Chandler was shipped back to New Orleans and the trade was rescinded. Chandler must have felt like the kid that gets tossed around from team to team on elementary school playgrounds across the nation, “You take him!” “NO!! YOU TAKE HIM!”

In our first twelve NBA report cards, we have focused solely on academic grades. In K-12 schooling there is another side of the report card, the citizenship portion. As we divert from academic grading this week, we will break down the 2009 NBA All-Star Weekend with citizenship grades. As hard as it is to swallow an “F,” sometimes a “Needs Improvement,” or “Unsatisfactory” can be just as difficult to accept. Without further ado, JIB Sports will now hand out our first citizenship report card:

Nate Robinson won the Slam Dunk Contest in style, jumping over Superman himself.

- Excellent – Sprite Slam Dunk Contest – In recent years the Slam Dunk Contest has shifted from an emphasis on the dunk itself. As players have started using more props, the contest has evolved into the entertainment spectacle of the weekend. Last year we saw Dwight Howard, last year’s champion, don a Superman cape and fly through the air (not literally), as well as Gerald Green blow out a cupcake with a lit candle sitting on the back iron of the rim. Last year’s competition revived the event, which was grasping on straws in recent years and had lost it’s luster. Howard once again turned into Superman, but this time he actually brought a phone booth to change in. After changing he dunked on a special hoop that was actually twelve feet tall. Howard followed it up with a poor man’s rendition of Jordan’s dunk when he jumped from the free throw line. Howard started from the other side of the court but lifted off at least a foot inside of the free throw line. Howard’s poor dunk left the door open for little man Nate Robinson, who was the champion two years ago. After making it into the finals, Robinson left the court to make a wardrobe change. He came back dressed in all green, we initially thought he was the Lucky Charms leprechaun. It was then explained that he was “Kryptonate” and won the contest by jumping over Superman Dwight Howard for an amazing dunk. Can’t wait for next year to find out what Kryptonate’s Kyrptonite is…

- Satisfactory – The All-Star Game – As is the same with every year, there are so many festivities before the actual game because the game really isn’t all that great. The poor defense and ball hogging gets a little nauseating after the first quarter, it’s not really basketball. Kobe Bryant took ten shots in the first quarter alone! The best part of this year’s game was Shaquille O’Neal dancing with Jabberwockees as he was introduced, the Canadian national anthem being sung in French was a very close second. It was refreshing to see Kobe and Shaw win the co-MVP, if they can mend a broken relationship then there is hope for all of us. The All-Star game means a lot in MLB because it decides which conference gets home field advantage in the World Series, but the NBA’s game means literally nothing. Although it was much more competitive in the early 90’s, now it is a stage to show off and entertain. On a side note, anybody else see that there was a crop fire on Allen Iverson’s head? We don’t know the specifics, but his cornrows are gone for the first time in at least ten years. Too bad his nasty tats are still there.

Kevin Durant looked happier hoisting the Rookie Challenge MVP than he did hoisting his Barbie horse.

- Needs Improvement – GEICO H.O.R.S.E. Competition – In it’s All-Star Weekend premiere, the H.O.R.S.E. Competition showed some promise, but would benefit greatly from our advice. For those of you unfamiliar with the rules of H.O.R.S.E., we are sorry, save yourself the embarrassment of asking someone the rules and just Google it. While it was extremely comical to see Kevin Durant hoist a Barbie horse as his trophy for winning, the actual competition was too slow moving and a little disappointing. Joe Johnson and O.J. Mayo joined Durant in missing a lot of shots that left a lot of people thinking, “You missed that shot? You are getting paid millions and can’t even make a left-handed layup??” It didn’t help that TNT had commercial breaks throughout the competition, it was perhaps the longest game of H.O.R.S.E. ever. If they keep this event next year, they need to speed it up and invite some retired players to play with current players. Building on the Barbie horse trophy, they need to find one of those mechanical stuffed animal horses large enough that the winner could mount and have them ride into the sunset.

- Unsatisfactory - Haier Shooting Stars Competition – Since it’s first appearance in an All-Star Weekend a few years ago, the Shooting Stars competition has got to be the most boring and uninteresting event ever. The contest is only for NBA franchises that have a WNBA franchise in the same city. Four teams are assembled with a NBA player, a WNBA player, and a former player from that NBA team. The three players combine forces in an “Around the World” fashion, with each of them having to make shots from certain points on the floor. They work from close to the rim at the beginning to a half-court shot to win. The winner is the team that completes all the shots in the shortest amount of time. Although a good idea, why were we subjected to watching WNBA players participate in a NBA event? I’d opt for a form of Chinese body torture than watch Lisa Leslie and the girls miss shots that Gary Coleman could make left-handed while hopping on his right foot. We would however like to congratulate Leslie for successful using a whole tube of lip gloss on her lips, it was both impressive and blinding.