Archive for the ‘Olympics’ Category

5 Sports Movies That Get No Respect

Monday, November 10th, 2008

Whenever people compile their favorite sports movies you are almost certain to hear “Rudy,” “Hoosiers,” “Field of Dreams,” “Remember the Titans,” and even “Major League.” Rightfully so, those are all good movies, but there are so many other good movies that aren’t mentioned. Maybe it’s because we only classify movies about basketball, football, and baseball as “sports movies.” The “Rocky” movies are in a league of their own, and are replayed about every weekend on either TNT or TBS if you are interested. Without further ado, here are the top five sports movies (not in rank) that get no respect: 

1. The Sandlot (1993)

The boys in "The Sandlot" were not by any means the most athletic of in shape.

The boys in "The Sandlot" were not by any means the most athletic of in shape.

The film begins with Scotty Smalls moving into a new neighborhood and meeting a bunch of new friends while playing baseball everyday at the “Sandlot,” (a run down baseball field). This movie follows the stories of these 10-12 year old boys that summer, centering on the mysterious dog that lives over the left field fence. Any ball that goes into his territory is good as gone. The movie climaxes when they hit a baseball signed by Babe Ruth over the left field fence. The ball was owned by Scotty’s father, and Scotty had no idea who Babe Ruth was, he thought it was a girl who had signed the ball. Now the boys are forced to retrieve the ball, and try to get it back using various methods. The psycho mutated dog (which ends up being a figment of their imaginations), turns out to be a lovable pooch and ends up being their mascot during games. The most notable line you might have heard from this movie was in reference to how bad Scotty is at baseball when he starts playing with the boys, “You’re killing me Smalls!”

2. Forget Paris (1995)

If there ever was a sports chick flick, this is it. Billy Crystal stars as Mickey Gordon, an NBA referee who’s father has just died. His father wished to be buried in Paris so Mickey flies there with his father’s body which is lost on it’s way their. Mickey ends up waiting for days and falling in love with the airport attendant that helps him find his father’s body. This love story is up and down, which affects Mickey’s performance as a referee. During one of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar‘s final games, Mickey ends up ejecting both rosters from the Lakers and Pistons, a trainer, head coach, and the guy who puts cheese on the nachos. One of the truly classic parts is when Mickey is driving his father-in-law to the doctor. Since they have nothing to talk about, his father-in-law starts naming stores they pass. Can’t say I haven’t been there…”You asked for it, you got it. Toyota!”

 3. Little Giants (1994)

The little Giants practice for their assumed beat down.

The little Giants practice for their assumed beat down.

This may perhaps be the best peewee football movie ever, probably the only one ever at that. When Becky O’Shea is cut by her uncle from the local peewee football team, she decides to start her own team. Since league rules sanction only one team per city, they decide to have a playoff between the two teams to see who will represent the city. There is nothing more classic and cliche than the team of rejects and nerds being victorious over the jocks that are obviously inferior. This wouldn’t be a great movie without a twist in the plot that could change the movie. The twist here is when Becky falls in love with the starting quarterback and thinks that he will like her if she becomes a cheerleader instead. Oh no! Now the dorks chances of winning are cut in half. What will happen? We all know what will happen, but wouldn’t it be cool one of these times if a movie didn’t end the happy way we think it will? Oh yeah, that movie would have been “The Perfect Storm,” I think they killed everyone.

4. Cool Runnings (1993)

In what I’m sure is a very dramatized true story, a bunch of Jamaicans fall short of making it to the Summer Olympic Games, so they settle to try and make it to the ’88 Winter Olympics Games. The sport that is going to take them there is bobsledding, and their coach is a retired cheater in the sport from the United States. While this movie goes above and beyond in making clever jokes not based on the bobsledders Jamaican accents, it at times can be a very inspirational movie. After watching this movie, I wished I could either be in the Olympics or be Jamaican. My mom convinced me neither was possible, so here I am as a sports writer. 

 5. The Karate Kid (1986)

Not many know karate, but we all know this kick!

Not many know karate, but we all know this kick!

Yes, karate is a sport, and Mr. Myiagi is a manipulative slave driver in the name of it. Everybody knows about “wax on, wax off,” and the famous kick the Daniel Larusso uses to win at the end of the movie, but I feel we just don’t respect this movie as a sports movie. Here are a couple things to watch for the next time you see this movie that will make it a little more memorable. Firstly, watch the part where Mr. Miyagi and Daniel are catching flies with chop sticks very carefully. Several times during the scene you can see the glare off of the string that the fly is attached to. Their fly catching is fraudulent. Secondly, watch how Daniel kisses his main squeeze Ali Mills at the sports park/arcade. He practically sucks her face off, great material to show kids on how not to kiss. And one last thing, try the rubbing hands technique Miyagi uses to help heal Daniel during the last tournament. It doesn’t work, I’ve tried many times, I guess I don’t have the Hollywood touch. 


Honorable Mentions: Teen Wolf, Angles in the Outfield, High School Musical (I got to do something to try and get the school girl demographics in my favor)

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Another Olympiad has Passed

Wednesday, August 27th, 2008

The Olympic torch has been dissipated in Beijing and will next make it’s way to London for the 2012 summer games. There were a lot of protesters following the torch relay everywhere it went displaying their displeasure with the Chinese government and how it so effectively uses it’s young country folk for profitable production. I can’t imagine seeing too many protesters following the torch run to London, unless they want to display their displeasure with monarchies and bad teeth. 

The ‘08 Beijing games were memorable in so many ways; we saw the most expensive opening and closing ceremonies ever, we witnessed swimming rise as a ‘must see’ event, we saw USA track and field crash and burn, we saw a ‘Redeem Team‘ make a formidable comparison to ‘The Dream Team,’ and we were reminded of the glaring problems that the Olympics have failed to obliterate after all these years. 

Michael Redd, Deron Williams, LeBron James, Jason Kidd, and Carlos Boozer show off their new bling, Olympic gold!

Michael Redd, Deron Williams, LeBron James, Jason Kidd, and Carlos Boozer show off their new bling, Olympic gold!

Sitting down to watch the opening ceremonies and seeing how long they are is similar to when a wife asks her husband to watch Anne of Green Gables or Pride and Prejudice with her, “What?!?!?! This thing is 53 hours long!!!” Okay, so the opening ceremonies aren’t that long, but they are creeping ever so closer. Right now they are in the same league as the Super Bowl pre-game show, which is just as long as the Super Bowl itself. The opening ceremonies were amazing, they combined both visual and performance arts that may never be matched. In many of the performances there were 2008 people on stage, seemingly improbable, but then we are reminded that there are over 1 billion people in China. Surely it wasn’t too difficult for the organizers to find a few thousand people willing to sacrifice lots of time to practice and perfect a routine show. A few Chinese people can go a long way! At one part of the ceremonies there was a cute little girl being repelled through the stadium serenading us with her angelic Chinese voice. A few days later news leaked that it wasn’t even her voice singing, but the voice of a “Quasimodo” Chinese girl backstage who wasn’t up to snuff to go on stage. Whoever made that decision definitely did not watch Ashley Simpson perform on Saturday Night Live. That single event squashed Ashley’s career like a bug, a bug living in her big bug sister’s shadow. It was rumored that the opening ceremonies alone cost upwards to $100 million! While the Chinese economy struggles to overcome such massive debts from hosting the Olympics, I’m sure all the poor rice farmers and McDonalds Happy Meal toy workers will think, “That ceremony was SO worth a pay cut!” 

There is one thing that the Olympics does not leave, and that is the feeling of you wanting more. Then again, it so happens that the summer Olympics always fall during the same year as the Presidential election. Right about now when the political conventions are on every channel I’ll gladly take more of anything…even a Hannah Montana 3-D concert. (Hey, there’s an idea for London, a 3-D opening ceremony!) 

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