The window of opportunity is closing for a lot of teams to make the playoffs. Meanwhile and few more teams are surging and gaining confidence. There are also a couple more revelations after week 14 in the NFL:

Old Sayings Never Die  

Deshea Townsend helped one saying live another day.

“Defense Wins Championships.” It doesn’t matter what sport you play, you are bound to hear this at least eleventy-billion times while watching and playing it. For the Pittsburgh Steelers, it was their defense that saved them against the Dallas Cowboys. With under five minutes in the game, the Steelers were stopped on 4th and goal and the Cowboys held on to their seven point lead. While the Cowboy coaches were picturing their “defense wins championships” inspirational speech for after the game, the Steelers stepped up and stopped the Cowboys’ stagnant offense. The Steelers ended up marching the ball straight down the field for a touchdown. On the Cowboys very next play, Tony Romo threw an  interception to Deshea Townsend, which was returned for a touchdown. Cowboys tight end Jason Witten took responsibility for the interception, saying that he ran the wrong route. I would have to agree with him, or be lead to believe that it was an awful throw by Romo, because Townsend was wide open. As the waning seconds of the clock clicked away, the Steelers had just outscored the Cowboys by seventeen in the final seven minutes and head coach Mike Tomlin was preaching “Defense saved our butts…I mean…wins championships!!”

Saints QB Drew Brees is in MVP talks despite his team's 7-6 record.

The MVP Race is Tightening

With the season coming to a close the MVP debates are starting. Here’s an MVP trivia question for everyone: who was the last non-offensive player to win the MVP and when did they win it? Answer: Lawrence Taylor – 1986!!! How about the last non-running back or quarterback? Answer: Jerry Rice – 1990!!! I think it’s safe to say that either a quarterback or a running back will win it this year. Since the AFL-NFL merger there have only been three non-offensive players to win the award. If football is truly a team sport, then how can two offensive positions always be the most valuable? Not to mention, if it’s defense that wins championships, then wouldn’t a defensive player be the most valuable? So as to not raise too much controversy, there are a couple defensive players being mentioned for the award, but we all know they have just as good of a chance of winning as O.J. does of getting parole. It’s kind of like how at least one African-American has to be interviewed for every head coach vacancy, there are protocols that need to be followed. Right now the names being mentioned are Drew Brees, Brett Favre, Kurt Warner, and Adrian Peterson. The mentioning of these guys defies the often used logic that the MVP should be the best player on the best team. Then Saints are 7-6, while the Jets, Cardinals, and Vikings are all at 8-5. How about Eli Manning on the 11-2 Giants or Jake Delhomme on the 10-3 Panthers? They might as well just pull a name out of a hat this year, debates will ensue no matter who is chosen.

Monday Night Football has the uncanny ability to pull you in and keep you there for unplanned amounts of time, even when someone up top botched in their predicting at the beginning of the season that the Jacksonville Jaguars at the Houston Texans in Week 13 would be a great game. If nothing at all, it was at least the Texans first appearance on MNF and consequently their first win on MNF. I found myself watching this slugfest of powerhouse losers particularly because nothing else was on T.V. and sometimes any sports is better then no sports. 

Jets Aren’t There Yet

Snow wasn't the only thing falling in East Rutherford on Sunday.

The New York Jets jumped all over the Tennessee Titans and ruined their perfect season two weeks ago. The Jets vaulted themselves into talks about a New York Super Bowl between the Jets and Giants and cheeseheads all over the greater Green Bay area chanted even louder, “Bring back Brett! Bring Back Brett!” (They still sounded like they were saying “Breen brack Breck,” apparently Packer fans are NOT hooked on Phonics.) The Titans rebounded nicely against the Detroit Lions on Thanksgiving, it would have been really hard not to rebound against the Lions. The Lions are like the not so attractive girl you go out with after being dumped just to “get back in the game.” You have to start somewhere, right? Meanwhile, the Jets managed to lose to the Denver Broncos at home and relinquish what momentum they had. Brett Favre, seasoned to play in cold and ugly weather, did just enough to keep his team in the game. Jay Cutler of the Broncos, who is no stranger to bad weather, did do enough to win. The good news for the Jeta is that they only play one more team this year with a winning record, the Miami Dolphins, the other three are a combined 12-24. 

Plaxico Burress may not play in a Giants jersey again.

Burress Latest Victim of Own Greed and Stupidity

I don’t know what it’s like to feel like I can do whatever I want and convincing myself that I won’t get caught because I’m above the law. Michael Vick, Ray Lewis, and Pacman Jones did, and apparently so did Plaxico Burress. If Burress had any brains about him he would have known that all he needed was a concealed weapons permit to carry one with him. As if that was foolish enough, then he shoots himself in the leg with the gun. While his injury was not fatal to him physically, his career in the NFL might be close to dying. There is still a chance that he will skirt by charges of carrying a weapon with intention to harm, Ray Lewis skirted charges of shooting and killing a man. We all know that sports players never receive a fair trial becuase of the bias involved. I don’t think these kind of things would happen so much of we didn’t hold professional athletes on such high pedestals. If Burress can weasel his way out of this one, he will probably end up with all the other alleged felons in the NFL, on the Dallas Cowboys.

With college football coming to an end, it’s time to say goodbye to Sunday Headlines until next fall. Stay tuned for the JIB Sports Bowls Preview: Parts I and II in the upcoming weeks. Since every other sports website has it’s rumors, JIB Sports will start to compile whisperings we hear around the world of sports. Don’t ask for sources, just know that we heard it somewhere at sometime from something or someone.

Detroit fans voice their displeasure through large cardboard number cutouts.

Detroit Lions to Become Expansion Franchise 

Talks are alive between the National Football League and the National Women’s Football Association for the Detroit Lions (0-11 this season) to be the NWFA’s newest expansion franchise. The only holdup in talks is if the Lions would have to relocate and what the NFL would get as collateral. Michigan is already the home of the West Michigan Mayhem, so the Lions in Detroit would raise a conflict in interest.

 Plaxico Burress Skips a Chapter

Shirley Grabowski, a librarian that works for New York Public Libraries, claims that she put a book back on the shelf that was checked out and returned last month by New York Giantswide receiver Plaxico Burress. The title of the book was “Handguns for Dummies.” Burress left a $100 bill marking his spot, the unread chapters included: “The Importance of Using Your Safety Lock,” and “How to Avoid Shooting Yourself.”

Carlos Boozer is injured again this year, looks to be out at least another week.

NBA Might Create New League Awards

For years the NBA has had it’s All-Defensive Team, 1st All-Team and 2nd All-Team awards to recognize outstanding players. David Stern is rumored to be in the process of creating a new team, the All-Injured Team. This year’s front runners so far are Carlos Boozer, Tracy McGrady, Gilbert Arenas, and possibly Shaq’s big toe by year’s end. 

Lakers Opt to Thrown in Towel

The Los Angeles Lakers  have won 14 games this year and lost two, both of those losses came on last second shots by their opponent. Buzzer beaters are the worst kind of loss, it is almost better to lose by 10+ than lose like the Lakers did to the Indiana Pacers on a last second tip-in. News has leaked that the Lakers are just going to lie down on the court if they find themselves down a basket with under a minute to play. Now when head coach Phil Jackson says, “they didn’t win the game, we gave it to him,” we will know it’s true.

After week 11, a couple of teams know where they stand. The Bills, Browns, Jaguars, Eagles, and Chargers know it’s going to be very difficult to make the playoffs. Every team in the NFC North (excluding the Lions) and the Falcons and Saints know they still have a glimmer of hope to make the playoffs. Lastly, the NFC West (excluding the Cardinals), Raiders, Chiefs, Rams, and Bengals know they still stink. Here are couple more things we know for sure after week 11:

Cowboys QB Tony Romo helps his team win, and lose, but mostly win.

Romo Does Make a Difference

As quarterback Tony Romo goes, so does the Dallas Cowboys. Just as fitting to say after the Cowboys beat the Redskins in Washington D.C. is: as quareterback Brad Johnson doesn’t go, so doesn’t the Dallas Cowboys. With Johnson in the Cowboys were stale and stagnant, Romo brings energy and excitement. Although his stats weren’t amazing (his 198 yards passing were the fewest of the season), Romo managed the game and got running back Marion Barber going again. Barber had his second best game of the year running the ball. The Cowboys will have 2 weeks of fine tuning and getting healthy while dispersing the San Francisco 49ers and Seattle Seahawks at home before they finish off their season with a tough stretch. A news story leaked in the press that Romo treated a homeless man to the movies this week. It sounds like an National Enquirer story to me, a member of the Dallas Cowboys doing something nice? That’s about as hard to believe as the woman that was enpregnated by an alien that looked like Sam Cassell. Wait a minute, maybe it was a Sam Cassell that looked like an alien… Apparently Carrie Underwood and Jessica Simpson, whom Romo has dated at one time or another the past couple years, just weren’t doing it for him, too much country. I bet he is loathing the day when Underwood or Simpson use his name in a country song about breaking up and losing a dog, or a playoff game. They could make lots of songs about that.

Eagles QB Donovan McNabb could have saved himself from embarrassment if the Eagles would have just lost.

There is Such a Thing as a Tie in the NFL

Donovan McNabb baffled the sports world with his lack of knowledge about NFL rules. The Philadelphia Eagles and Cincinnati Bengals both struggled offensively and could not settle their game in regulation, so they went into overtime. Both teams continued to struggle, Cincinnati missed what would have been a game winning field goal with under a minute left in overtime. As Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb trotted on the field, he was probably thinking, “Let’s get a couple good plays in and take the momentum into the the second overtime.” Unknown to McNabb was that there is no such thing as a second overtime in the NFL. After the game McNabb said, “I’ve never been a part of a tie. I never even knew that was in the rule book..I hate to see what would happen in the Super Bowl and in the playoffs.” Congratulations Donovan, you now have a place in the “Stupidest Things Ever Said by Professional Sports Players Hall of Fame.” Instead of a nice jacket, they are given a dunce cap when enshrined. Donovan, here’s your cap. Maybe somebody should let Donovan know if the Eagles even make the playoffs now (the tie put them in last place in their division), there are no real overtimes in the post-season, it’s sudden death. It’s comments like those that make me wonder why we all still care about most professional athletes’ opinions. Most of the time they really do have no idea what they are talking about.

Brady Quinn finally got his chance to start in the NFL when the Cleveland Browns faced the Denver Broncos on one of the NFL Network’s Thursday night games. The games should be a lot more exciting to listen to this year after the NFL Network “parted ways” with former play-by-play announcer Bryant Gumbel. I would have rather listened to Ben Stein give a monotone play-by-play of paint drying than listen to Gumbel. Quinn had a good night, but was overshadowed by Broncos QB Jay Cutler’s outstanding performance. As Wild Card races for the playoffs start, the separation of contenders and pretenders is becoming more evident. Here are a couple revelations after watching some action from week 10:

Kurt Warner is not as evasive as he used to be, but he is still finding success.

Kurt Warner Not Letting Gray Hair Get to Him

Kurt Warner is 37 years young and playing just as well as he did almost 10 years ago when he guided the St. Louis Rams to a Super Bowl Title. After the Arizona Cardinals victory over the San Francisco 49ers on Monday night, there were fans chanting “M-V-P” during Warner’s post-game interviews. Deemed by many to be the Cardinals starting quarterback before the season started, now backup Matt Leinart is spending his time on game day drinking Gatorade and adjusting himself from the sideline (my wife notices the players doing it more than I do). Warner isn’t throwing as many long bombs as he used to,  probably because now he has to worry about throwing his elbow out. Warner is getting his touchdowns and passing yards by getting the ball out fast and picking apart defenses, a skill that he perfected while playing Arena Football. As good as Warner has played all year, and especially last Monday night, it is apparent that the Cardinals just aren’t that imposing of a team. The Cardinals got the win on Monday night against the 49ers, but it wasn’t well deserved. The 49ers made a lot of great plays, but their quarterback Shaun Hill made more stupid ones, his untimely interceptions proved costly. The stupidest mistake of the night was how the 49ers managed the end of the game. After Frank Gore was tripped up right before the goal line, the 49ers elected to run their last play instead of spiking the ball to regroup. The play they ran was a run right up the middle by former Penn State QB Michael Robinson. After that play call I’m sure a lot of fans were thinking, “what was that?!?!” “Did offensive coordinator Mike Martz call in the right play?!?!” That kind of play call is volatile even in video games! Kurt Warner’s late career resurrection is shades of Doug Flutie in Buffalo. While Flutie got his own cereal, “Flutie Flakes,” I don’t think Warner will be as fortunate. “Cinnamon Kurt Krunch,” or “Frosted Warner Wheats,” just don’t have the same ring to them.

Colts WR Reggie Wayne has seen more balls come his way this year.

Colts Still Bucking

What started out as very disappointing season and had many people declaring the end of their glory days, the Indianapolis Colts have come together and knocked off the New England Patriots and Pittsburgh Steelers in consecutive weeks. The Colts victory in Pittsburgh last week was their first in 15 years! The Colts relied heavily on their defense in both games, which has been known to be their achilles heel. In the waning minutes of the game, they came up with two huge plays; the Colts stuffed the Steelers on a 3rd and Goal to force a field goal and then intercepted Ben Roethlisberger in Steelers territory. It is no doubt that the Colts assume a completely different identity defensively with Bob Sanders in the lineup (Sanders was out with an injury for the Colts first 7 games). While the Colts are in no position to win their division, a Wild Card berth is starting to look very achievable. The one thing still plaguing the Colts is an awful running game. Jospeh Addai, who was a 1,000 yard rusher for the Colts in ‘06 and ‘07, has managed a measly 282 yards on the ground all season! Backup running back Dominic Rhodes has more yards than Addai, albeit only 8 yards more, but more nonetheless. Maybe the Colts are trying to turn them into a running back tandem. With every tandem comes cool nicknames, like “Thunder and Lightning,” or “Slash and Dash.” Addai and Rhodes could be “Crash and Burn.” With the Colts starting to win again, maybe we will see some more of those knee-slapping, make you laugh so hard you want to cry Peyton Manning commercials. Rumor has it that companies having been pulling the ads because of the bad publicity with a loser representing them. No wait, I heard that about Macy’s and Jessica Simpson.

Whenever people compile their favorite sports movies you are almost certain to hear “Rudy,” “Hoosiers,” “Field of Dreams,” “Remember the Titans,” and even “Major League.” Rightfully so, those are all good movies, but there are so many other good movies that aren’t mentioned. Maybe it’s because we only classify movies about basketball, football, and baseball as “sports movies.” The “Rocky” movies are in a league of their own, and are replayed about every weekend on either TNT or TBS if you are interested. Without further ado, here are the top five sports movies (not in rank) that get no respect: 

1. The Sandlot (1993)

The boys in "The Sandlot" were not by any means the most athletic of in shape.

The film begins with Scotty Smalls moving into a new neighborhood and meeting a bunch of new friends while playing baseball everyday at the “Sandlot,” (a run down baseball field). This movie follows the stories of these 10-12 year old boys that summer, centering on the mysterious dog that lives over the left field fence. Any ball that goes into his territory is good as gone. The movie climaxes when they hit a baseball signed by Babe Ruth over the left field fence. The ball was owned by Scotty’s father, and Scotty had no idea who Babe Ruth was, he thought it was a girl who had signed the ball. Now the boys are forced to retrieve the ball, and try to get it back using various methods. The psycho mutated dog (which ends up being a figment of their imaginations), turns out to be a lovable pooch and ends up being their mascot during games. The most notable line you might have heard from this movie was in reference to how bad Scotty is at baseball when he starts playing with the boys, “You’re killing me Smalls!”

2. Forget Paris (1995)

If there ever was a sports chick flick, this is it. Billy Crystal stars as Mickey Gordon, an NBA referee who’s father has just died. His father wished to be buried in Paris so Mickey flies there with his father’s body which is lost on it’s way their. Mickey ends up waiting for days and falling in love with the airport attendant that helps him find his father’s body. This love story is up and down, which affects Mickey’s performance as a referee. During one of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s final games, Mickey ends up ejecting both rosters from the Lakers and Pistons, a trainer, head coach, and the guy who puts cheese on the nachos. One of the truly classic parts is when Mickey is driving his father-in-law to the doctor. Since they have nothing to talk about, his father-in-law starts naming stores they pass. Can’t say I haven’t been there…”You asked for it, you got it. Toyota!”

 3. Little Giants (1994)

The little Giants practice for their assumed beat down.

This may perhaps be the best peewee football movie ever, probably the only one ever at that. When Becky O’Shea is cut by her uncle from the local peewee football team, she decides to start her own team. Since league rules sanction only one team per city, they decide to have a playoff between the two teams to see who will represent the city. There is nothing more classic and cliche than the team of rejects and nerds being victorious over the jocks that are obviously inferior. This wouldn’t be a great movie without a twist in the plot that could change the movie. The twist here is when Becky falls in love with the starting quarterback and thinks that he will like her if she becomes a cheerleader instead. Oh no! Now the dorks chances of winning are cut in half. What will happen? We all know what will happen, but wouldn’t it be cool one of these times if a movie didn’t end the happy way we think it will? Oh yeah, that movie would have been “The Perfect Storm,” I think they killed everyone.

4. Cool Runnings (1993)

In what I’m sure is a very dramatized true story, a bunch of Jamaicans fall short of making it to the Summer Olympic Games, so they settle to try and make it to the ‘88 Winter Olympics Games. The sport that is going to take them there is bobsledding, and their coach is a retired cheater in the sport from the United States. While this movie goes above and beyond in making clever jokes not based on the bobsledders Jamaican accents, it at times can be a very inspirational movie. After watching this movie, I wished I could either be in the Olympics or be Jamaican. My mom convinced me neither was possible, so here I am as a sports writer. 

 5. The Karate Kid (1986)

Not many know karate, but we all know this kick!

Yes, karate is a sport, and Mr. Myiagi is a manipulative slave driver in the name of it. Everybody knows about “wax on, wax off,” and the famous kick the Daniel Larusso uses to win at the end of the movie, but I feel we just don’t respect this movie as a sports movie. Here are a couple things to watch for the next time you see this movie that will make it a little more memorable. Firstly, watch the part where Mr. Miyagi and Daniel are catching flies with chop sticks very carefully. Several times during the scene you can see the glare off of the string that the fly is attached to. Their fly catching is fraudulent. Secondly, watch how Daniel kisses his main squeeze Ali Mills at the sports park/arcade. He practically sucks her face off, great material to show kids on how not to kiss. And one last thing, try the rubbing hands technique Miyagi uses to help heal Daniel during the last tournament. It doesn’t work, I’ve tried many times, I guess I don’t have the Hollywood touch. 

Honorable Mentions: Teen Wolf, Angles in the Outfield, High School Musical (I got to do something to try and get the school girl demographics in my favor)

It seems like every other week we are reminded of the importance of a good backup quarterback. The NFL is on it’s way to start more backup quarterbacks this year than ever before. This past week it was Byron Leftwich is slipped in beautifully for injured Ben Roethlisberger. You never know when your starting quarterback is going to go down, or when they are going to suck. For the Cleveland Browns it’s the latter, which is why Brady Quinn will get his first start after watching from the sidelines all last year and through the first 8 games of this year. The only two backups in the league that never think about playing are the ones behind Brett Favre and Peyton Manning. Between the two quarterbacks they have 429 consecutive starts! 

DeAngelo Hall has been freed from Raider bondage.

Oakland Raiders are in Shambles

The Oakland Raiders are the most dysfunctional franchise in the NFL, perhaps in the history of sports. I don’t believe anyone in their right mind would argue that point. After owner Al Davis fired head coach Lane Kiffin earlier this year, a handful of former players and coaches came out saying what a nut job Davis is. Al Davis is like the little kid that doesn’t know how to play monopoly but always wins. Those house rules will get you every time. After trading away 2 draft picks to Atlanta for DeAngelo Hall, Davis signed him to a very lucrative deal worth about $70 million over 8 years. After 8 games he got waived. Hall has got to be feeling like one of the most fortunate men on Earth right now. He got paid $70 million to play 8 games in a Raiders uniform and then they cut the ball and chain off his ankle themselves. In a 24-0 loss to the Atlanta Falcons last week, the Raiders racked up a whopping 77 yards of total offense with 3 first downs. That’s the fewest yards that the Raiders have managed since 1961 (Al Davis was an assistant coach on that team). Perhaps Davis could use that money from waiving Hall to go get some help on offense. No, that would make too much sense, and Davis is all about being non-sensical. He’ll probably go out and sign another defensive back, hey, house rules! 

The Cowboys' decline started will before Tony Romo's injury.

It’s Great to be Mediocre

At the halfway point of the season, there are a plethora of teams sitting with 4 losses that are still in the hunt for the playoffs. With the way this season is going, it’s not a stretch to say they are also still in the hunt for the Super Bowl. In what is turning in to be one of the most topsy turvy seasons in recent history their are six 4-loss teams that still have a fighting chance. In the AFC there are the Indianapolis Colts, the Miami Dolphins, and the Denver Broncos. In the NFC there are the Dallas Cowboys, the Minnesota Vikings, and the Green Bay Packers. While the Colts, Dolphins, Vikings, and Packers are making steady improvements, the Cowboys and Broncos are free falling. There are a lot of people in the press right now holding their heads between their legs who picked Dallas to go all the way. The loss of starting quarterback Tony Romo has no doubt hurt the Cowboys chances of winning, the Cowboys’ problems started well before Romo’s finger injury. The Dallas Cowboys are “America’s Team,” and just like America, the Cowboys are going through a recession.

During my last round of golf for the year, I got to thinking about the changing seasons in weather and also in sports. In the middle of two double bogeys, I had a lot of time to think about something other than how poorly I was playing or else I would have went crazy. With every change of season comes a different variety of sports. As we say “goodbye” to baseball, golf and soccer (yeah, I know, most of us never said “hello” to soccer and thus are not in need of telling it “goodbye”), we have welcomed football and basketball. I would put hockey in there, but just like soccer, it’s just one of those sports that still can’t get better ratings during it’s playoffs than reruns of “Full House.”

The 2008 World Series was wet and wild.

The most recent World Series between the Philadelphia Phillies and the Tampa Bay Rays left a lot of fans feeling short changed. Mother Nature changed things quite a bit, as Philadelphia was hit with hard rain and snow storms. Game 5, which proved to be the series clincher, was suspended in the 6th inning for two days. You have to wonder how the series would have been different if the weather would have cooperated more. For a sport that starts it’s Spring training in February, it seems rather odd that is stretches it’s season into October. The weather conditions through the regular season stay fairly consistent, but their off-season is vastly different. There should be more controversy in the timetable the league has than the size of the strike zone every game.

While football has been in our midst since September, now is when we get into the nitty-gritty of both the NFL and college football. For the NFL, we start looking at the Playoffs and who is emerging as the teams to beat. For college football, the BCS standings continue to get shook up and Conference Championships start inching closer and closer. With every week that passes we weep that we are one more week closer to the end of football, it is truly America’s sport. The NBA, which also has a long season, can do as they please because they play indoors. NBA Commissioner David Stern did experiment with playing an outdoor game during the preseason at a tennis venue, but it was a little too chilly for some players. A few traded their Powerade for a cup of hot cocoa.

College basketball is also right around the corner, which really doesn’t pick up until after Christmas. With exception to the Inter-conference tournaments to start the season, you won’t see many competitive games until the beginning of January. Only a little over 100 schools compete in NCAA college football, well over 300 compete in NCAA basketball. There are enough cupcake college teams for every larger school to have their share of and rack up an easy 10 wins to start their season. You could conceivably not pay attention to college basketball until the Conference Tournaments in March and know enough to fill out a decent Final Four bracket. In the end though, it seems the secretary or office idiot who knows nothing about college basketball will always win.

In week 8, London hosted it’s second NFL game in as many years. The New Orleans Saints (who were technically the home team) beat the San Diego Chargers. Besides the few fans who looked like they were from the States (they had ridiculous outfits and face paint), there were a lot of confused spectators in the stadium. I guess Americans watching a squash match would draw a similar comparison, or Americans watching an Arena Football game. After week 8, we know two more things for certain in this topsy turvy NFL season:

Long Snappers Do Make a Difference

Giants WR Amani Toomer picked up a key first down en route to the Giants 21-14 victory over the Steelers on Sunday.

Whenever someone scans an injury roster for each game, the focus goes to the skill position players (the “Fantasy” players, if you may). I highly doubt anyone looked at the injury roster for the Pittsburgh Steelers on Sunday and noticed that their starting long snapper Greg Warren was listed. Steelers fans for certain will take notice after what happened on Sunday when their team was holding onto a 14-12 lead over the New York Giants. Steelers replacement long snapper James Harrison flung the football 5 yards over the head of punter Mitch Berger and into the end zone for a safety, tying the game at 14 and opening the door for the Giants to win the game. The long snapper is kind of like the holder on field goals, it’s a thankless position. They are kind of like the janitor that replaces the urinal cakes, his job is very vital and nobody notices the good work he does until he messes up. A couple more thankless positions in the NFL include the kid that runs out on the field to grab the kicker’s tee after a kickoff and the guys that squirt water into the players mouths, as if football players can’t squirt water into their own mouths. I guess it’s just one of those luxuries that few people will ever understand, similar to how NBA players have to have grade school towel boys put their warm up jackets on their shoulders when they go to the bench. You never know, someone might forget how to wear one and try to put their feet through the arm holes. Those towel boys have saved Shaquille O’Neal a lot of public embarrassment and shame. 

Bengals WR Chad Ochocinco was giddy after the game and he got a juice box.

Lions Have a New Challenger

Just when you thought that things couldn’t get worse for the Cincinnati Bengals it does. Right now it’s to the point that you can almost see that the Bengals aren’t trying very hard. They almost look like elementary aged pee-wee football players, I think I saw Chad Ochocinco sitting on the ground and picking grass. He was pouting because he didn’t want to wait until the end of the game to get his treat and juice box. WIth so much talent on the offensive side of the ball, the Bengals are a disgrace. The Bengals rank last in scoring (13 points/game) and yards per game (229). All of a sudden the Detroit Lions aren’t looking like the supreme candidate to go winless and match the ‘76 Buccaneers. It’s amazing that Bengals head coach Marvin Lewis isn’t on the hot seat. I guess that the people and management in Cincinnati are so used to losing that they’ve become pacified to the thought of winning. It’s too bad that the Detroit Lions don’t play the Bengals this year, that game might have had more emotion than the Super Bowl. I wonder how much advertisers would have paid to air a 30-second commercial during that game…

Forget about the 6-0 Tennessee Titans being the last unbeaten and potentially running the tables toward a 16-0 season. The New England Patriots did that last year, and I’m sure the ‘72 Dolphins (who went 13-0) still pop the champagne when the last unbeaten team loses, all while claiming they are still the only unbeaten team because the ‘07 Patriots didn’t win the Super Bowl. I am more interested to see if the Detroit Lions will break the ‘76 Buccaneers record of going winless all year. We still have 10 more weeks of anticipation, here is what we know after week 7:

Nobody Wants to Carry the Torch

Titans QB Kerry Collins has more than filled the void left by Vince Young.

Never has the NFL had such a collective bunch of teams that just don’t look that impressive from week to week. The way things are panning out, just about anybody has a shot to win the Super Bowl and we are almost half way through the season. Some people may argue that the Tennessee Titans are undefeated, but their quarterback is Grandpa Collins, who’s statistics almost mirror quarterbacks at Air Force and Navy. I wouldn’t call Titans a clear cut contender, but they are a dark horse. The Baltimore Ravens were able to win a Super Bowl with an old n’ busted Trent Dilfer, but their defense was a alot more tough than the one the Titans put on the field (probably because they had more arrests collectively than the Titans). Right behind the Titans are the Pittsburgh Steelers and the New York Giants, who play this Sunday and are predicted by many to go to the Super Bowl (so much for “America’s Team“). For every team in the upper part of the league, there are just as many teams in the middle part that could beat them on any given Sunday. Perhaps we will see some more separation in the next 4-5 weeks. It’s almost like the Olympic torch relay to Beijing this past summer. Everybody is afraid of carrying the torch because angry people protesting the exploitation of Malaysian children in the fashion industry might tackle them. Actually, that’s on “Zoolander,” whoops…and any NFL player, for that matter, afraid of being tackled by a beanpole, wimpy protestor should be kicked out of the league (except for place kickers and punters).

Mike Nolan is the latest head coach to be given the pink slip.

NFL Coaches Are on Shorter Leashes 

People just aren’t as patient as they used to be. Just this morning someone blazed past me and cut me off, only to slam on his brakes and almost ram the car in front of him. If there ever was a race to the stop light, he won it. Owners and General Managers in the NFL are no different, they want wins and they want them now. If a coach can’t get them wins, then they will find one that can. There are only so many wins to be dished out a year and everybody wants a piece of that pie. The San Francisco 49ers fired head coach Mike Nolan on Monday, making him the third coach to be fired this year (Scott Linehan and Lane Kiffin being the first two). It doesn’t seem that Nolan will be the last one fired before the season’s end, grumbling is also coming from Cincinnati, Kansas City, Cleveland, and Detroit. Might as well throw Dallas in there too, there’s nothing Jerry Jones likes more than to fire people and sign felons when he isn’t getting a Botox.