The All-Star break is over, which means we’re in the home stretch of the NBA regular season and playoffs seedings start to really take shape. Let’s get on with another report card, academic style!

Ronnie Brewer and the Jazz are on a roll, but it's still yet to be seen if they can continue their momentum on the road.

A – Utah Jazz Hitting Stride - The Utah Jazz have had a roller coaster week since beating the Los Angeles Lakers right before the All-Star break. The Jazz kept the momentum rolling by beating the Boston Celtics this past week, becoming the third team to beat both participants of last year’s Finals. Last Friday, the Jazz’s longtime owner, Larry H. Miller, passed away after fighting courageously to survive type 2 diabetes. Miller was considered by many to be one of the most passionate owners in the NBA, he kept the Jazz in Utah. Fans in Seattle can only hope they had an owner as great as Miller and that they would still have their SuperSonics. The Jazz played an inspired game on Saturday in memory of Miller and beat the New Orleans Hornets. In head-to-head matchups Deron Williams is now 13-2 against Chris Paul. The Jazz, despite losing the most games to player injuries this year, is in the Western Conference playoff hunt and only four games from homecourt advantage in the first round. With Carlos Boozer hopefully coming back from injury this week, the  Jazz will play their first game of the year with their whole starting lineup healthy.

B - Charles Barkley Returns - Charles Barkley made a bonehead mistake last month when he was caught driving under the influence. A lesser known, non-athlete would be sitting in jail right, but the “Mound of Rebound” is back on the set of the NBA on TNT. His T-Mobile commercials are back (thank goodness, those generic ones were doing nothing to help them) and he is apologetic for his act of stupidity. Barkley mentioned on his first show back that he might consider giving up drinking alcohol altogether, if that’s what “professionals” tell him to do. We don’t know what professional would tell Barkley that drinking is fine, but our advise to Barkley is to stop paying “professionals” to be your shoulder angel and listen to us, “Drinking and driving is a no-no.” While we in no way condone Barkely’s actions, we are glad to see him back. He brings a lot of knowledge and personality to the show, the past six weeks without Barkley have been like watching The View without that one white woman…if a name just came to your mind then maybe this website isn’t for you.

C - The Good Ol’ Suns - We don’t know whether to praise the Phoenix Suns or slap them in the face for taking so long to realize that they never had a problem with their offense. Last season, Suns management thought they needed to change their offense so they brought in Shaquille O’Neal and slowed things down. To further enforce their change in philosophy, they hired Terry Porter as head coach and let go the Mike D’Antoni. Then this season they traded Raja Bell and Boris Diaw for Jason Richardson, and fired Terry Porter. With Alvin Gentry at the helm, the Suns averaged 140+ points/game until they lost to the Celtics. With the Celtics loss aside, it was nice to see the good ol’ Suns, it’s just too bad they lost Amar’e Stoudemire for the year and all their key players are closer to retirement than winning a Championship. It doesn’t take a genius to realize their only problem before was that they didn’t play defense.

D – The Trade Deadline - As the NBA trade deadline loomed this past week, there were a lot of rumors swirling around. According to the experts, a lot of teams were talking turkey, big trades were in waiting. When the deadline came and went, all we got was a bunch of over-hyped luncheon meat trades. While there were a few moves, they were nothing like the fire sale we thought was about to happen. With the bad economy (anybody else getting sick of hearing about that?) a lot of teams are in a financial bind, especially the ones in smaller markets. The Los Angeles Clippers, Milwaukee Bucks, and Hornets are among the teams that are losing more money than they make and of them were unsuccessful in shedding a large contract from their team. It would be so much easier if teams could rid themselves of poor performing players by simply putting their torches out, “Survivor” style.

F – Tyson Chandler’s Toe - The Hornets were actually of of the few teams that were successful in shipping off one of their overpaid players, but only for a matter of days. The Hornets traded injury-riddled Tyson Chandler to the Oklahoma City Thunder in a move to simply clear salary cap space. Chandler had been having knee problems, but it was a past problem with his surgically repaired toe that caused him to fail the physical. The Thunder’s team doctor, who said there is a risk Chandler might re-injure his toe, is the one that initially performed the surgery on it a few years ago. You have to wonder what was going through that doctor’s head while examining Chandler’s toe, probably something along the lines of, “Whoops…” In the end, Chandler was shipped back to New Orleans and the trade was rescinded. Chandler must have felt like the kid that gets tossed around from team to team on elementary school playgrounds across the nation, “You take him!” “NO!! YOU TAKE HIM!”

In our first twelve NBA report cards, we have focused solely on academic grades. In K-12 schooling there is another side of the report card, the citizenship portion. As we divert from academic grading this week, we will break down the 2009 NBA All-Star Weekend with citizenship grades. As hard as it is to swallow an “F,” sometimes a “Needs Improvement,” or “Unsatisfactory” can be just as difficult to accept. Without further ado, JIB Sports will now hand out our first citizenship report card:

Nate Robinson won the Slam Dunk Contest in style, jumping over Superman himself.

- Excellent – Sprite Slam Dunk Contest – In recent years the Slam Dunk Contest has shifted from an emphasis on the dunk itself. As players have started using more props, the contest has evolved into the entertainment spectacle of the weekend. Last year we saw Dwight Howard, last year’s champion, don a Superman cape and fly through the air (not literally), as well as Gerald Green blow out a cupcake with a lit candle sitting on the back iron of the rim. Last year’s competition revived the event, which was grasping on straws in recent years and had lost it’s luster. Howard once again turned into Superman, but this time he actually brought a phone booth to change in. After changing he dunked on a special hoop that was actually twelve feet tall. Howard followed it up with a poor man’s rendition of Jordan’s dunk when he jumped from the free throw line. Howard started from the other side of the court but lifted off at least a foot inside of the free throw line. Howard’s poor dunk left the door open for little man Nate Robinson, who was the champion two years ago. After making it into the finals, Robinson left the court to make a wardrobe change. He came back dressed in all green, we initially thought he was the Lucky Charms leprechaun. It was then explained that he was “Kryptonate” and won the contest by jumping over Superman Dwight Howard for an amazing dunk. Can’t wait for next year to find out what Kryptonate’s Kyrptonite is…

- Satisfactory – The All-Star Game – As is the same with every year, there are so many festivities before the actual game because the game really isn’t all that great. The poor defense and ball hogging gets a little nauseating after the first quarter, it’s not really basketball. Kobe Bryant took ten shots in the first quarter alone! The best part of this year’s game was Shaquille O’Neal dancing with Jabberwockees as he was introduced, the Canadian national anthem being sung in French was a very close second. It was refreshing to see Kobe and Shaw win the co-MVP, if they can mend a broken relationship then there is hope for all of us. The All-Star game means a lot in MLB because it decides which conference gets home field advantage in the World Series, but the NBA’s game means literally nothing. Although it was much more competitive in the early 90’s, now it is a stage to show off and entertain. On a side note, anybody else see that there was a crop fire on Allen Iverson’s head? We don’t know the specifics, but his cornrows are gone for the first time in at least ten years. Too bad his nasty tats are still there.

Kevin Durant looked happier hoisting the Rookie Challenge MVP than he did hoisting his Barbie horse.

- Needs Improvement – GEICO H.O.R.S.E. Competition – In it’s All-Star Weekend premiere, the H.O.R.S.E. Competition showed some promise, but would benefit greatly from our advice. For those of you unfamiliar with the rules of H.O.R.S.E., we are sorry, save yourself the embarrassment of asking someone the rules and just Google it. While it was extremely comical to see Kevin Durant hoist a Barbie horse as his trophy for winning, the actual competition was too slow moving and a little disappointing. Joe Johnson and O.J. Mayo joined Durant in missing a lot of shots that left a lot of people thinking, “You missed that shot? You are getting paid millions and can’t even make a left-handed layup??” It didn’t help that TNT had commercial breaks throughout the competition, it was perhaps the longest game of H.O.R.S.E. ever. If they keep this event next year, they need to speed it up and invite some retired players to play with current players. Building on the Barbie horse trophy, they need to find one of those mechanical stuffed animal horses large enough that the winner could mount and have them ride into the sunset.

- Unsatisfactory - Haier Shooting Stars Competition – Since it’s first appearance in an All-Star Weekend a few years ago, the Shooting Stars competition has got to be the most boring and uninteresting event ever. The contest is only for NBA franchises that have a WNBA franchise in the same city. Four teams are assembled with a NBA player, a WNBA player, and a former player from that NBA team. The three players combine forces in an “Around the World” fashion, with each of them having to make shots from certain points on the floor. They work from close to the rim at the beginning to a half-court shot to win. The winner is the team that completes all the shots in the shortest amount of time. Although a good idea, why were we subjected to watching WNBA players participate in a NBA event? I’d opt for a form of Chinese body torture than watch Lisa Leslie and the girls miss shots that Gary Coleman could make left-handed while hopping on his right foot. We would however like to congratulate Leslie for successful using a whole tube of lip gloss on her lips, it was both impressive and blinding.

The shift of power is always in full swing this year. First the Boston Celtics went on a huge run, then it was Cleveland Cavaliers, now it’s the Los Angeles Lakers. The Lakers have beaten both the Celtics and Cavaliers on the road this week, handing LeBron and company their first loss at home this year. As we hand out our twelfth report card, we are flattered that NBA.com is taking a page out of our book.

After starting their road trip 5-0, Kobe and the Lakers are now the team to beat.

A -LeBron James and Kobe Bryant at Madison Square Garden - LeBron and Kobe dazzled thousands at Madison Square Garden and handed the New York Knicks two losses. The night after Kobe scored 61 points, LeBron scored 52, and I think people lost sight of which Knicks they put these numbers up against. These aren’t just any Knicks, these are the Mike D’Antoni Knicks. D’Antoni brought his lauded high-scoring offense with him to New York along with his much criticized defense from Phoenix. D’Antoni’s coaching strategy is to outscore the other team and to score within the first seven seconds of holding the ball on offense. Much like how the league’s stars shined against the Phoenix Suns while under D’Antoni, expect a lot more to have their best games against the Knicks as well. Spike Lee is witnessing front row of the best basketball he’s seen in years at the Garden.

B – Kevin “Lanky” Durant - Kevin Durant is one of those good guys that you hope gets to play on a good team sometime in his career. Although Durant looks like a black version of Andrei Kirilenko, he is a high scoring force to be reckoned with. In the first week of February, Durant is averaging over 33 points a game and over 27 on the year. For a team destined to be one of the worst in NBA history, the Oklahoma City Thunder have played .500 basketball in 2009, and Durant has been the staying force leading the way. There are now two teams comfortably behind the Thunder, the Sacramento Kings and the Washington Wizards. Both are two wins behind the Thunder, which doesn’t sound like much unless you consider they each have only eleven wins for the year.

C – Sacramento Kings Retiring Chris Webber’s Number/Jersey – The Sacramento Kings were nothing more than a mediocre team on the path to nowhere when Chris Webber arrived, which explains preferectly his reluctance to join the team when he was traded there in 1998. What happened in Sacramento from 1998-2003 was nothing short of a miracle, as the Kings ascended to be one of the league’s elite teams. With Webber, Vlade Divac, Doug Christie, Peja Stojakovic, and Jason Williams, the Kings came up one game short of reaching the NBA Finals in 2001. It seems odd that the Kings would retire Webber’s number because he only spent six seasons in Sacramento, but those were their glory years and it seems unlikely they will return to those days anytime soon. On a side note, Webber was charged three times with possession of marijuana and cocaine while with the Kings, that should give Michael Phelps some comfort that stupid people who make asanine decisions can still continue to be praised and referred to as heroes.

D - The Los Angeles Lakers Trading for Adam Morrison – It’s easy to see why both Vladimir Radmanovic and Adam Morrison have fallen out of favor with their respective teams, which makes sense why they were swapped. Radmanovic is a lazy liar (refer to his snowboarding accident), Morrison is a bust in the making (refer to his college days at Gonzaga when he let the waterworks flow after a loss). Along with Morrison, the Los Angeles Lakers got Shannon Brown, another young talent that could be good. In the end this made sense to the Lakers for two reasons, it relieves a little bit of their salary cap, and it makes one of their franchises arch nemesisis Michael Jordan look bad. Jordan was the one that picked Morrison ahead of now shining stars Rudy Gay and Brandon Roy.

F – The Phoenix Suns’ Demise – The Suns have made it known that they are actively accepting trade offers for Shaquille O’Neal and Amar’e Stoudamire. How far the Suns have fallen in just the past two years, they were a Robert Horry hipcheck on Steve Nash from the NBA Finals in 2007 and just as close in previous years when Nash was the league’s MVP. With apparent problems in team chemistry, the Suns swapped Shawn Marion for Shaq last year and this year have shipped Boris Diaw and Raja Bell to Charlotte for Jason Richardson. With Nash very visibly on his way out, along with Shaq, the Suns are aware that their opportunity to win a Championship came and went and now they need to start rebuilding. The first step the Suns are eyeing is getting under the luxury tax for next year by unloading a big contract.

We are officialy two weeks away from All-Star Weekend, marking the half-way point of the NBA season (even though it’s a couple weeks after many teams’ half-way mark). The fans have spoken and named their starting five for the Eastern and Western Conferences, and the coaches have spoken in naming the reserves. Here’s a rundown of the rosters and our grades for the choices:

Eastern Conference - Dwight Howard, Kevin Garnett, LeBron James, Dwayne Wade, Allen Iverson, Joe Johnson, Jameer Nelson, Danny Granger, Paul Pierce, Chris Bosh, Devin Harris, Rashard Lewis

Western Conference - Yao Ming, Tim Duncan, Amar’e Stoudemire, Kobe Bryant, Chris Paul, Dirk Nowitzki, Shaquille O’Neal, Brandon Roy, Chauncey Billups, Pau Gasol, David West, Tony Parker

Prostituing himself in a crappy home video to get votes paid off for Amar'e Stoudemire.

A - First Time All-Stars - There are several players this year making their first appearance in an All-Star Game, which should be encouraging to fans. Kobe, Duncan, Iverson, and Garnett aren’t going to live forever, so it’s good to see some rising stars (the jury is still out on Dwight Howard, he is the suppossed “Super Man” these days). Devin Harris and Danny Granger have to be the biggest stand-outs. As mentioned last week, Granger has got the size and build to be a tremendous star for years to come. Harris is making Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban second-guess trading him away for Jason Kidd. For as cocky as Cuban is, getting him to second-guess himself is a moral victory for any opponent. Jameer Nelson of the Orlando Magic is also making a first appearance, and will also be his last. You can put that in writing, oh wait, it already is.  

B – Yao Ming’s Swing Votes - We all know that Yao Ming is one of the most dynamic centers in NBA history, he’s a monster with a soft touch. Some call him a gentle big buddha…well, nobody really has but I just did. As long as Yao is in the league he will start in every All-Star Game because he has the backing of over two billion people who love him because he’s their same ethnicity. Yi Jianlian, another one of Yao’s fellow Chineseman, almost made the East’s starting lineup but was narrowly beaten out by Garnett. Yi would have been the first player only averaging 10 points per game to make an All-Star Game, proof that a lot of Chinese people go a long way.

C – Ray Allen’s Snubbing - Ray Allen and Rajon Rondo have been the talk of Beantown this season, they have been the ones to make the big play for the Boston Celtics. Some have even mentioned Allen in MVP talks,  (which should be flattering to Allen but extremely propostorous with the way LeBron and D-Wade are playing) so to hear that Allen was left off the All-Star roster for this year was a snub to say the least. Then again, much like the BCS, there is a snub every year. Teams act like beauty pagaent mothers, they think that their little girl is the winner no matter what anybody else says. Being oblivious does wonders to your self-esteem!

Miami Heat's Dwayne Wade has had an incredible season coming off of an injured maligned season last year.

D - Shaquille O’Neals Location Vote - Shaquille O’Neal was voted in as a reserve for the Western Conference, making this Shaq’s 15th All-Star Game. It happens about every year with the host city, a player from the host city’s franchise will earn an undeserved selection. I guess it’s good for ticket sales, and Shaq is just as bad at free throws this year as he always has been, so at least he has stayed consistent throughout the year. A friend of mine made a good suggestion for an event to be added to All-Star Weekend, The Best Worse Free Throw Contest. Shaq would be in it every year, it would be extremely exciting for the fans to see brick chuckers compete to see who could make the most out of 25 or something like that.

F - Nuggets Owner Reccommending Head Examinations - After hearing that his forward Carmelo Anthony had not made the All-Star roster, Denver Nuggets vice president of player personnel Rex Chapman said, ”If you’re telling me that Carmelo Anthony is not one of the top 12 players in the Western Conference, then I say you need to have your head examined.” Anthony has taken a decreased role for the better of the team, and he has missed several games with injuries so far, but perhaps someone needs to explain how the All-Star game votes work (or should work). Players are selected on their production that year, no doubt the ‘Melo is one of the best when considering all seasons he’s been in the league, but for the first half of this season he has not been.

Back by popular demand, we bring you another edition of Weekly Rumors.  Once again we are going to spill the beans on all the things we’ve been hearing around the sports world. Take it or leave it, remember that these are just rumors. Don’t ask for the source, we won’t tell you, just know that we heard it at some point from someone, somewhere..out there…beneath the pale moonlight.

Arizona Cardinals WR Larry Fitzgerald is a inspiration to ball boys everywhere.

Larry Fitzgerald New Spokesman – Larry Fitzgerald has been the subject of many articles the past couple of weeks leading up to the Super Bowl. Fitzgerald got to rub shoulders with one of his childhood heroes when he was a teenager. The hero was Cris Carter, one of the greatest recievers in NFL history. Fitzgerald found himself in the fortunate situation of  rubbing shoulder because he was a ball boy for the Minnesota Vikings. Seeing an opportunity to get it’s name out there, the NAABB (National Associtation for the Advancement of Ball Boys) nabbed Fitzgerald as their new promoter. Be advised that the NAABB is in the process of changing it’s name to the NAABP (National Association for the Advancement of Ball People). The NAABB is sensitive to the matter that not all people that manage balls are boys, but also men, girls, and women.

NBA to Use Performance Pay – Many people were not blessed with the ability to be tall and play professional basketball. For those poeple, earning a paycheck is laregley based on performance. Being sympathetic to the hard working people of America, the players union of the NBA has approved a performance pay system for players. Scoring points will not be a point of emphasis, otherwise teams would fight amongst themselves for the ball and players on the Los Angeles Lakers would welcome trade offers for Kobe Bryant. Categories have been arranged into two groups, ones that will deduct pay and ones that will increase pay. Statisitcs that will dock players’ pay will be turnovers, missed shots, technical fouls, and flopping (nobody liked to see a grown man act like a wimpy school girl). Assists, blocks, steals, and field goals and not wearing headbands upside-down or backwards will result in a little extra compensation.

What does Groundhog Day have to do with sports? If MLB has anything to do with it, then it will be something.

Groundhog to Dictate Spring Training  -Punxsutawney Phil has quite the reputation, the only animal that can predict the length of winter based on if he can see his shadow or not. Starting this year, Phil will also decide the start of Major League Baseball’s Spring Training. Usually pitchers and catchers will report ro camp in mid-February, and the skill position players (You know??? Because pitchers and catchers don’t have skills..) report a week later. If Phil sees his shadow then the first players won’t report until mid-March, a welcome change to players wanting another month of vacation. MLB remained silent when questioned on this new decision, but skeptics believe it is related to MLB trying to reach out to animal activists groups by respecting their opinions (the animals of course).

Roger Clemens to be Found Innocent – The Roger Clemens steroids scandal has been extremely long and drawn out. There is so much incriminating evidence of Clemens’ actions, from medical papers to actually needles used to inject steroids into Clemens’ body. Through the hearings, Clemens has done nothing to paint a picture of innocence. He has lost a lot of fans and exposed them to the harsh reality of steroids in baseball. Barry Bonds could definitely lend a should to cry on and tell Roger, “it’s okay, I know how you feel man.” However, Clemens will be found innocent and this case will be dismissed. With exception to Pete Rose, there are only a handful of professional athletes that have been properly punished for foolish actions. This will be a case of “the bloddy glove doesn’t fit,” as Clemens walks away from the public eye like O.J. did, an “innocent” and free man.

This past week officially marked the half-way point of the regular season. It’s all downhill from here until the playoffs. Get used to hearing the phrase, “If the playoffs started today, here would be the eight teams in.” Milwaukee Bucks’ star Michael Redd tore his ACL over the weekend and is out for the season as his team holds onto the #8 spot. With Redd out, the door has been opened for the New Jersey Nets and the New York Knicks (both with losing records) to possibly slip in. In the jam-packed Western Conference, The Phoenix Suns, Utah Jazz, Dallas Mavericks, Houston Rockets, and Portland Trailblazers are all battling for a spot in the final four. This week’s grades go solely out to players based on their performance the first half of the season. There are so many grades to give out, but we’ll just spotlight one player for each grade.

Danny Granger is becoming more and more of a household name with his play this year.

A - Danny Granger – Sure he plays for a bad team, but lots of good players get lost while playing for poor teams. Danny Granger was an unknown coming into the NBA, playing his college ball at the University of New Mexico. Granger has stepped up for the Indiana Pacers and has far exceeded expectations. Granger is most comparable to Tracy McGrady in his pre-injured every other game days while playing in Toronto and Orlando. For now we’ll call him a “poor man’s T-Mac.” In his third year, Granger is averaging 26 points per game and doing damage in the paint and on the perimeter with his outside shot. Once Granger lands with a good team, look for him to rise as a  recognized star in this league the next few years.

B – Paul Millsap - The Jazz took a chance on a guy from Louisiana Tech over 20 years ago and it paid off. I think it would be safe to say that Karl Malone had a pretty good career. Three years ago the Jazz tapped another power forward from Louisianna Tech with their second round draft pick and he’s paying huge dividends. With Carlos Boozer once again riding the pine injured for the Jazz (he’s spent over a third of his NBA career injured), Paul Millsap has emerged as a star on an injury-riddled Jazz team this year and has helped them stay in the Playoff chase. At one point in the season, Millsap tied the NBA record for most consecutive double-doubles. Don’t be surprised if the Jazz offer Millsap a bigger contract than Boozer in the off-season. On a side note, can someone please explain to me why Louisiana Tech is in the Western Athletic Conference?

C – Derrick Rose – Before the ‘08 Draft, the buzz was on whether the Chicago Bulls would take Michael Beasley or Derrick Rose, they took Rose and I doubt there are many people in Chicago that would complain. While the Bulls do have a losing record, it could be much worse without Rose. Much like Chris Paul and Brandon Roy in their rookie seasons, Rose has been able to emerge as a leader for his team and has been the person trusted with the ball when the game is close. As soon as the Bulls unload a few shooting guards off their team and get some height, they will improve vastly.   

D – Tracy McGrady - Tracy McGrady had been in the MVP race the past few years, but this season he has never been so far from looking like an MVP. The Houston Rockets picked up Ron Artest in the off-season to add to the several solid players the Rockets already have. Much like the Jazz, the Rockets have hardly played a game with a full roster. McGrady has been one of the oft-injured players and when he does play he is only averaging 15 points per game. The Rockets have survived with McGrady out, but as soon as McGrady steps up and shakes off his injuries, the Rockets may finally play like the championship-caliber team that many thought they would be in the pre-season.

F – Elton Brand - Elton Brand signed with the Philadelphia 76ers over the summer and was supposed to be the missing piece for a team that made a surprising run in last year’s Playoffs. The 76ers started sluggish but have been streaking lately and are back to .500. That doesn’t seem that great for a team with such high expectations, but Brand was part of the team that dug the hole so deep and was injured while the team dug themselves back out. Surprisingly, the 76ers are a better team without him (when you consider wins and losses only). For being the highest paid player on Philly’s roster, Brand has not proven to people why he deserved such a huge contract when he was coming off an injury plagued season with the Los Angeles Clippers.

The Orlando Magic continue to rise in stock. In the past week the Magic have beaten three division leaders and pulled ahead of the Cleveland Cavaliers by two in the win column. Speaking of Cleveland, the Cavs have won their first 20 games of the season at home. If they can continue that dominance, I’ll know who to take going to the Finals in the East. Even with their tremendous performances this past week, the Magic and Cavs are nowhere to be seen on this week’s report card:

OKC forward Kevin Durant is finally giving Thunder fans something to clap about this year.

A - The Thunder’s Surge - In a season where records for most wins has been a hot topic, the Oklahoma City Thunder were a hot topic surrounding fewest wins in NBA history. They were as close to earning an “A” on our report card as Charles Barkley is to becoming sober. Through their first 33 games, the Thunder won three, not the best recipe to sell tickets in an expansion market. In the gutter, where it could have been so easy to just die as everyone expected them, the Thunder have won five of their last nine games. In this streak the Thunder have had wins against the New York Knicks, Chicago Bulls, Utah Jazz, and Detroit Pistons. The Thunder aren’t out of the clear yet, if they lose every game the rest of the year then they will still break the record.

B – The Nuggets Resilience - It was just a few years ago that the Denver Nuggets made the a blockbuster move to get Allen Iverson. There were many that thought with the combination of A.I. and Carmelo Anthony, the Nuggets had a imminent Championship in their future. Fast forward to present day, the Nuggets traded A.I. to the Detroit Pistons for Chauncey Billups, apparently A.I. wasn’t “The Answer.” ‘Melo and A.I. lacked chemistry, all they did was contend with each other for who could score the most points. After ‘Melo broke his right hand earlier this month, the outlook was bleak at best for the Nuggets, but the Nuggets have won three of their last five, all of them against playoff teams. For the first time in a while, the Nuggets will be a force to be reckoned with once ‘Melo returns.

C – The 76ers Rebounding - With Elton Brand in street clothes, the player that was supposed to help them get over the hump, the Philadelphia 76ers won their seventh straight game on Saturday. For the first time in two months, the 76ers are at .500 with a 20-20 record almost halfway through the season. Veteran point guard Andre Miller and superstar Andre Iguodala are the main reason for the improvement as of late, but maybe it has to do with them firing former head coach Maurice Cheeks. Whatever the reason, the 76ers are slowly molding into the team that is fighting for their lives every game that nobody wants to play. Once Brand returns from his separated shoulder, we’ll see if he helps the team or has an “A.I.” effect on them.

D – Trailblazer Temper Tantrums - Back in 2004, the Portland Trailblazers signed Darius Miles to a six-year contract only to waive him in 2008 after not completely healing from microfracture surgery. Under the NBA collective bargaining agreement, if Miles was to play more than 10 games with another team this year, the Blazers would have to pay the remaining $18 million on Miles’ contract. Miles played in eight games earlier this year with the Boston Celtics before being waived. With the Memphis Grizzlies showing interest in Miles and offering him another 10-game contract, the Blazers sent out an email to the other 29 teams in the NBA threatening legal action if someone signed Miles. The Grizzlies signed Miles, he has played in two games thus far completing the 10-game minimum, and now the Blazers are stuck with paying $18 million, maybe that’s the legal action the Blazers were talking about. It wasn’t a threat after all, it was a promise.

F – Mark Cuban’s Behavior - Mark Cuban is a passionate owner, he loves his team and really cares. However; in all of this passion and caring he comes off as one of those bad parents at their child’s soccer game shouting obscenities at the referees and trash talking little kids on the opposing team. And much like the children of such parents, you have to believe the Dallas Mavericks are embarrassed of their owner. This past week Cuban got into a spat with J.R. Smith of the Nuggets because Smith was apparently throwing elbows. Cuban was fined $25,000, and is planning on donating the money. I’ve heard he’s donating it to his own charity: Mark Cuban’s Future Athletes Foundation – “Equipping Tomorrow’s Athletes With an Attitude and a Mouth to Match!”

They are all smiles in Cleveland and hiding their heads between their legs in Boston. Meanwhile, everyone in the West is holding their breath as every win and every loss changes the experts opinions on who stands a chance against the Los Angeles Lakers in the playoffs. After another week of action, some people are getting some grades, no gold stars this week though. 

Yes, those are the Cleveland Cavaliers, and they are #1 in the East.

A - The New King(s) in the East – “The King” LeBron James now needs to share his title with the rest of his team, for the time being. The Cleveland Cavaliers have been so close for so many years, even when they went to the 2006 NBA Finals nobody outside of Ohio thought they actually had a chance to win. With LeBron playing out of his mind, he is putting up big numbers and making his teammates better. The Cavs are on track to set the record for most throwback jerseys worn in a single season. They have more jerseys in their lockers then high school girls have mini-skirts in their closet.

B – The Western Conference - This year has been a coming out party for a few Eastern Conference teams, so much that some say that the East has surpassed the West. Although the East has arguably three of the top four teams right now, top to bottom the West is superior. Much like last year, the Western Conference is stacked with stellar teams. The Lakers are all alone in the top spot, but only three games separate the second through ninth seeds. In the East you could argue that not every game counts, you can get away with letting a few slip, but not in the West. Once the East has a team with a winning record in their 8th spot, then we can really start debating about which conference is better. 

C – Potential All-Starts Pandoring Votes - We’ve had a healthy dose of politicians graveling for our votes this past fall, now we are getting it from NBA players. Last year Chris Bosh made a video and posted it on his website trying to get the few hundred fans in Canada and thousands everywhere else to vote for him to make the All-Star team. Now several other players, including Amar’e Stoudemire, are following suite. I don’t think these players have mastered the thought process of NBA fans. Fans will vote for players that play for their local team, are from their local area, or ones that they just enjoy watching. Nobody takes the time to watch “campaign videos” and subsequently vote for you, especially if the videos are as corny as children sitcoms on the Disney Channel.

D – Chuck’s Alcohol Problem - Charles Barkley loves to be the center of attention. Whether it’s throwing poeple through bar windows, kissing Dick Bavetta on national television, making his gambling problem public, or showboating on the set of “NBA on TNT,” Charles relishes the spotlight. Like a kid starved for attention, Charles went out and did something drastic to take the spotlight, he got pulled over driving under the influence in Scottsdale, Arizona. The legal limit in Arizona is .08, Sir Charles had a blood alcohol level of .149. Where was Kenny Smith when Charles needed a designated driver? Probably gone fishin’. What about Charles’ “Fave 5?” I don’t think he has any, talk about false advertising…

F – The Formerly Historic Celtics - What happened to the Boston Celtics was in no way a Christmas miracle. If you will recall with me, heading into their Christmas day matchup with the Lakers, the Celtics had won 19 straight and were on a historic path to have the most wins in a single season in NBA history. The Celtics lost, no big deal, the Lakers were not that far behind them in wins, but then the Celtics went on to lose six of their next eight. The Celtics can still set the mark of most wins in a single season, now they just have to win 43 straight…

As we turn our calendars to 2009, many of us are making resolutions. For many NBA players, the resoultion is the same, “win some games.” Some are getting better grades than others in accomplishing their reslotions, here are their marks this week:

A – Spurs Recovery From Early Disappearing Act -  The San Antonio Spurs started the year 2-5 and they were left for dead. “Washed up, ” too old,” “past their prime,” I’m sure they heard them all, but they have recovered beutifully and went 20-6 since. Spurs point guard Tony Parker has taken control of his team once again, this past week he had an amazing buzzer beater against the Philadelphia 76ers. The way he hugged Roger Mason after the game-winning shot, I think he’s turned into a desparate househusband.

Tony Parker and the Spurs are looking to give the mighty Lakers a challenge.

B – Devin Harris’ Breakout Season - If Mark Cuban was any good at insider trading, he would have never traded Devin Harris to the New Jersey Nets for Jason Kidd last year. While Kidd is on his last leg doing nothing to help the Dallas Mavericks win, Harris is getting better and winning games for the Nets all by his lonesome. So much can be said about trades after they have played out, but this trade, along with the Shaquille O’Neal for Shawn Marion trades can both be classified as “Things that make you go hmmm…”

C - Mickael Pietrus’ Bout With the Injury Bug - The Orlando Magic’s key addition during the offseason was snatching up versatile guard Mickael Pietrus from the Warriors. Now that they have him, they have a problem with him, he’s always injured. After missing 10 games already this season, he will be out most likely the rest of the year after a dunk against the Detroit Pistons went bad. Pietrus fell on his back and arm, walking away with a broken wrist. In the famous words of every Charlotte Bobcats or Oklahoma City Thunder fan, “There’s always next year.”

D – The Typical L.A. Clippers - After picking up Baron Davis in the offseason, the Clippers were smelling ”contention” in the Western Conference, which is something for them. Only days later, Elton Brand, their key component with Davis, signed with the 76ers. Sitting at 8-25, Davis is actually reminiscing with joy about his days with the Golden State Warriors, who are 10-25. Those two wins that separate the Clippers and Warriors are so close, yet so far away. The Clippers next winnable game isn’t until January 19th against the Minnesota Timberwolves. At least the Clippers can find solace in the fact they aren’t cursed, they are always this bad.

F – Stephon Marbury - For somebody that came up with the idea of cheap basketball shoes (Starbury’s) so every kid could have cool shoes, he sure seems to be a selfish person. He sure punked us all, now we know he sold them so cheap to sell more and make more profit. More of something cheap will usually make more then a few of something expensive, just ask McDonalds or Walmart. After not playing for the New York Knicks all year because of disagreements with management, rumors have surfaced over Marbury being traded to the Boston Celtics. For all the brilliant moves GM Danny Ainge made to assemble a championship team last year, this would be a bonhead move. Let Marbury rot, by his own choice of course.

2008 was hailed by ESPN as “the greatest year in sports.” It all comes down to the eyes of the beholder, I doubt the sports fans of the greater New England area, Los Angeles, or Seattle would share those same sentiments. It seems unlikely that a golfer and swimmer are in the top 3 sports stories, but that’s just what kind of year it was:

Top 3

Tiger Woods sinks a put to force an 18 hole playoff in the '08 U.S. Open

(1) New York Giants Impropapble Super Bowl Win - It was the most viewed Super Bowl ever, and it did not fail in delivering a spectacular show. The New England Patriots were heavy favorites as they attempted to be the first team to win 19 games in a season and finish undefeated (the ‘72 Dolphins still claim to be the only perfect team because they won the Super Bowl in their undefeated year). The only thing standing in their way was a mediocre New York Giants team that had to rally off consecutive wins on the road to get into the Playoffs and then win three straight on the road to get to the Super Bowl. In a season of “unbelievables,” the Giants victory was the top one. 

(2) Tiger Woods’ U.S. Open Victory – You don’t have to be a Tiger Woods fan, let alone a golf fan, to appreciate what Tiger did in the ‘08 U.S. Open. Tiger was having extremely noticeable pain in his knee and it was visibly apparent. He limped his way into an 18-hole playoff with Rocco Mediate after draining a birdie putt on the 72nd hole. After the 18-hole playoff, they were still tied, but Tiger snatched the win on the 91st hole. Tiger had season ending knee surgery after the tournament and news leaked that he was advised by doctors to not even play. Throw out Michael Jordan and his performance with the flu in the ‘97 Finals, what Tiger did was far more amazing. 

(3) Michael Phelps’ Historic Performance – Go back 8 years to the 2000 Olympics in Sydney, how many swimming events were televised? I am guessing not many, and the amount of people that watched them was more or less the same. Enter Michael Phelps in 2004 and he changed the face of Olympic swimming, perhaps forever. Phelps started the Beijing Olympics off to an amazing start for the Americans with his 9 gold medals. Who would have thought that the track and field teams would be the ones to disappoint us…and that aside from basketball, swimming events would have been the most watched? I’ve got a feeling that fencing and handball will never get that popular. Take away skimpy bikinis and sand volleyball will plummet…

Honorable Mentions: Boston Celtics Beat Kobe, Lakers / Philadelphia Phillies Win the World Series

Seattle Sonics fans have lots of good memories, one of them will now be when the Sonics were in existence.

Bottom 3

(1) The Supersonics Exile from the NBA - Small markets beware! NBA Commissioner David Stern and just about every owner that is not a citizen in the community that he owns a team in do not care about your team. Forget about history, forget about the fans’ love for “their” team, if it isn’t making the owner or the NBA as much money as they think it should then they will sell it. What happened with the Seattle Supersonics is despicable, their owner sold the team and moved them to Oklahoma City. Most will argue, but I believe it all started with the community of Seattle choosing not to fund the building of a new arena. Why don’t the players pay for it instead of hard working citizens in Seattle anyway? Most of them aren’t millionaires because they are talented, it’s because they are big and tall, right? Someone get back to me with answers to my questions! 

(2) Plaxico and His Guns - From Super Bowl Champion to under arrest, Plaxico Burress had a up and down year to say the least. So Plaxico has a lot of guns, none of which he is licensed to have, what should he do with them? Hide them? Sell them for profit? Nah, Plaxico decided to take one with him to a club and shoot himself in the leg. This should be a lesson to him that he is not above the law, but so many NFL players have gotten off the hook lately (except Michael Vick) that I think Plaxico might get his hand slapped and dismissed. If Plaxico would have played Halo, he would know that shooting yourself with a shotgun is not good. 

(3) Coaching Carousels – Between the three major league sports (NFL, NBA, and MLB) there were over 30 coaches dismissed. The number balloons out even more if you add in collegiate sports. Two of the NFL’s latest dismissals are both surprising and sudden. The Denver Broncos fired Mike Shanahan, their two-time Super Bowl Champion coach that had been there nearing 20 years. The New York Jets fired Eric Mangini, who was a genius only a season ago and who’s players all seem to not be in agreeance with ownership over his dismissal. I have another job (besides a sports writer), if I don’t perform well then my boss doesn’t get fired. I would get a pay decrease or get fired. Shouldn’t players be held to the same standard? It’s their job to win isn’t it? I’ve yet to see a coach hit a baseball, catch a football, or make a 3-point basket. 

Honorable Mentions: UNC Falls Short in Final 4 / AFL Philadelphia Soul Win Arena Bowl but Lose Money