We are almost a quarter way through the season and it is being patterned somewhat after this year’s NFL season. A couple good teams and a whole bunch of mediocre ones. It seems a little too early to make any playoff predictions, but definitely not too early to give out another report card:

Howard has been a hero to a franchise in dire need of one.

A – Dwight Howard’s Candy Room - Some people wonder what makes Orlando Magic superstar in training Dwight Howard tick. Howard won the 2008 NBA Slam Dunk Contest last year with a dunk that included a Superman cape. Howard has been a force to be reckoned with early in his career with the Magic, he has averaged a double-double the last two years. In a ESPN radio interview with Colin Cowherd, Howard revealed what might be his secret to success, Honey Buns! Howard explained how he has his own candy room and loves to down a couple Honey Buns before games. Little Debbie is chomping at the bit to get Howard on their Honey Buns boxes, “Want to dunk like a champion? Throw down a Honey Bun!”

B -The Celtics, Cavs, and Lakers – There are always those kids that get straight “A’s” and annoy the crap out of everybody else because they are so good. The Boston Celtics, Cleveland Cavaliers, and Los Angeles Lakers are those smarty pants, four-eyed geeks. The only reason why we are giving them a “B” is because we are sick of giving the “A’s.”  You ever see the face of a straight A student when they get their first B? Try deer in headlights, or Shaq at free throw line.

C – Cleveland Cavaliers’ Bobbleheads - With all the talks of LeBron James bolting Cleveland to go to New York, the Cleveland Cavaliers are doing everything in their power to convince him to stay. Their latest ploy was a ceremony to commemorate him winning anOlympic gold medal. As part of the party, the Cavaliers gave away LeBron James bobbleheads, 23 of which were gold. Bobbleheads are kind of a thing of yesteryear, they might as well have given everyone LeBron James Tamagotchis. As part of the disclaimers to those who win the gold bobbleheads, the retail value of them is listed as $15. Something is telling me those things aren’t real gold, I think Mike Tyson needs to bite the ears on all of them to make sure.

Billups has been just what the Nuggets need, a pass first point guard.

D – The Detroit Pistons With Allen Iverson - Allen Iverson is having about the same effect on the Detroit Pistons that he did on the Denver Nuggets, which is not much. In this year’s biggest trade, Iverson was swapped for Chauncey Billups. While the Nuggets are playing much better, the Pistons are struggling with a record of 8-7 since acquiring Iverson. Some might argue that the problem runs deeper then Iverson, some of the blame may go on first year head coach Michael Curry. The Pistons position they are in right now may play into their favor. The Pistons have historically played better as underdogs and choked when they were supposed to win. If the Pistons start winning a little too much, they might want to lose a few for their “underdog” title to catch up to them. 

F – Toronto Firing Head Coach Sam Mitchell - Sam Mitchell became the third NBA head coach to be fired this year, and with no good reason. Two seasons removed from being named the NBA Coach of the Year, Mitchell is without a job. With the Toronto Raptors sitting 8-9 at the time of Mitchell’s firing, you have to question the owner’s motives in firing him. Raptors owner Bryan Colangelo said that expectations were high, and Mitchell was obviously not meeting them. Colangelo is right, why wouldn’t expectations be high? They traded for a injury-prone Jermaine O’Neal, who has only clogged the middle and prevented Chris Bosh from being as good as he has been. Oh, and how could we have forgotten?? The Raptors have all-powerful black uniforms this year!! Black is the new “you better be intimidated, look what we’re wearing” color.

Monday Night Football has the uncanny ability to pull you in and keep you there for unplanned amounts of time, even when someone up top botched in their predicting at the beginning of the season that the Jacksonville Jaguars at the Houston Texans in Week 13 would be a great game. If nothing at all, it was at least the Texans first appearance on MNF and consequently their first win on MNF. I found myself watching this slugfest of powerhouse losers particularly because nothing else was on T.V. and sometimes any sports is better then no sports. 

Jets Aren’t There Yet

Snow wasn't the only thing falling in East Rutherford on Sunday.

The New York Jets jumped all over the Tennessee Titans and ruined their perfect season two weeks ago. The Jets vaulted themselves into talks about a New York Super Bowl between the Jets and Giants and cheeseheads all over the greater Green Bay area chanted even louder, “Bring back Brett! Bring Back Brett!” (They still sounded like they were saying “Breen brack Breck,” apparently Packer fans are NOT hooked on Phonics.) The Titans rebounded nicely against the Detroit Lions on Thanksgiving, it would have been really hard not to rebound against the Lions. The Lions are like the not so attractive girl you go out with after being dumped just to “get back in the game.” You have to start somewhere, right? Meanwhile, the Jets managed to lose to the Denver Broncos at home and relinquish what momentum they had. Brett Favre, seasoned to play in cold and ugly weather, did just enough to keep his team in the game. Jay Cutler of the Broncos, who is no stranger to bad weather, did do enough to win. The good news for the Jeta is that they only play one more team this year with a winning record, the Miami Dolphins, the other three are a combined 12-24. 

Plaxico Burress may not play in a Giants jersey again.

Burress Latest Victim of Own Greed and Stupidity

I don’t know what it’s like to feel like I can do whatever I want and convincing myself that I won’t get caught because I’m above the law. Michael Vick, Ray Lewis, and Pacman Jones did, and apparently so did Plaxico Burress. If Burress had any brains about him he would have known that all he needed was a concealed weapons permit to carry one with him. As if that was foolish enough, then he shoots himself in the leg with the gun. While his injury was not fatal to him physically, his career in the NFL might be close to dying. There is still a chance that he will skirt by charges of carrying a weapon with intention to harm, Ray Lewis skirted charges of shooting and killing a man. We all know that sports players never receive a fair trial becuase of the bias involved. I don’t think these kind of things would happen so much of we didn’t hold professional athletes on such high pedestals. If Burress can weasel his way out of this one, he will probably end up with all the other alleged felons in the NFL, on the Dallas Cowboys.

With college football coming to an end, it’s time to say goodbye to Sunday Headlines until next fall. Stay tuned for the JIB Sports Bowls Preview: Parts I and II in the upcoming weeks. Since every other sports website has it’s rumors, JIB Sports will start to compile whisperings we hear around the world of sports. Don’t ask for sources, just know that we heard it somewhere at sometime from something or someone.

Detroit fans voice their displeasure through large cardboard number cutouts.

Detroit Lions to Become Expansion Franchise 

Talks are alive between the National Football League and the National Women’s Football Association for the Detroit Lions (0-11 this season) to be the NWFA’s newest expansion franchise. The only holdup in talks is if the Lions would have to relocate and what the NFL would get as collateral. Michigan is already the home of the West Michigan Mayhem, so the Lions in Detroit would raise a conflict in interest.

 Plaxico Burress Skips a Chapter

Shirley Grabowski, a librarian that works for New York Public Libraries, claims that she put a book back on the shelf that was checked out and returned last month by New York Giantswide receiver Plaxico Burress. The title of the book was “Handguns for Dummies.” Burress left a $100 bill marking his spot, the unread chapters included: “The Importance of Using Your Safety Lock,” and “How to Avoid Shooting Yourself.”

Carlos Boozer is injured again this year, looks to be out at least another week.

NBA Might Create New League Awards

For years the NBA has had it’s All-Defensive Team, 1st All-Team and 2nd All-Team awards to recognize outstanding players. David Stern is rumored to be in the process of creating a new team, the All-Injured Team. This year’s front runners so far are Carlos Boozer, Tracy McGrady, Gilbert Arenas, and possibly Shaq’s big toe by year’s end. 

Lakers Opt to Thrown in Towel

The Los Angeles Lakers  have won 14 games this year and lost two, both of those losses came on last second shots by their opponent. Buzzer beaters are the worst kind of loss, it is almost better to lose by 10+ than lose like the Lakers did to the Indiana Pacers on a last second tip-in. News has leaked that the Lakers are just going to lie down on the court if they find themselves down a basket with under a minute to play. Now when head coach Phil Jackson says, “they didn’t win the game, we gave it to him,” we will know it’s true.

In the NBA’s second report card of the year, we’ve got people not getting along, others losing their tempers, and teams that are both excelling and struggling. Here are the marks for this past week:

Charles Barkley has brought good insight and some comic relief to the NBA on TNT.

A – Charles Barkley’s Comments on LeBron James - Since Sir Charles Barkley retired and joined the commentating crew for Turner Sports, he has been one of the better commentators and funniest. His thoughts and opinions are often not far from the truth, unlike sensationalist Stephen A. Smith for ESPN. Last week Barkley stirred the LeBron James 2010 free agency signing with the New York Knicks talks with some sharp comments. Barkley said that LeBron needs to “shut the hell up.” LeBron has gone as far as to say that with so many all-stars’ contracts expiring, the first day of free agency in 2010 will be one of the biggest days in the NBA’s recent history. Barkley also said that LeBron talking about what he’s going to do in two years is “disrespectful to the game . . . and the Cavaliers.” Barkley knows all about disrespect, in 1997 he threw a bar patron through a window for throwing a cup of ice at him.

B – Trailblazers Getting More Mature, Better – The Portland Trailblazers have been one of those teams that took a big chance a few years ago and started from scratch.  From trading away their veterans for draft picks and signing less-expensive free agents with potential, the Blazers have assembled a strong team. Recent draft picks Brandon Roy, LaMarcus Aldridge, and Greg Oden all have signs of greatness and it was said that the Blazers would get better as those three players do. It is yet to be seen how many fans in Washington will jump on the Blazers bandwagon or stay loyal to no team. Sports fans in Seattle have it tough now, no NBA team and the Mariners, Huskies, and Seahawks are awful, they might as well jump on.

C – The Suns’ Tempo - The Phoenix Suns had a window of opportunity to win a championship, it was wide open in ’05 and ’06, started closing in ’07, and is barely cracked this year. New Suns head coach Terry Porter has come in and changed the tempo of the Phoenix Suns from the run n’ gun style under Mike D’Antoni. Under D’Antoni, the Suns almost always scored over 100, but the further away the got from magic #100, the more likely they were to lose. New head coach Terry Porter has emphasized defense but so far this season, the Suns have a better record in high-scoring games. If you think about it that hard you’ll go crazy, it doesn’t make much sense. Shaquille O’Neal not being able to shoot better from the free-throw line after 15+ years in the NBA is equally as flabbergasting. 

Kenyon Martin has been the center of the Nuggets implosive instincts more often than not.

D - Denver Still Kings of Implosion - If you look up “implosion” in an English dictionary it will read, “a process in which objects are destroyed by collapsing on themselves.” If you look up the same word in a NBA dictionary there will be a picture of the Denver Nuggets. The Nuggets are very much a team that plays on emotion, things have not changed with Allen Iverson gone. While Denver is still playing much better than expected so far this season, they have also showed signs of their troubled past. So many times in the past few years, the Nuggets have been in close games and just lost their composure. In most games they would overreact to a bad call and get a couple of technical fouls. In a big game against the New Orleans Hornets on Thanksgiving, the Nuggets were in position to win. WIth under 2 minutes left they were up by 3, they then gave up two straight three-point jumpers and Kenyon Martin got a technical foul. As opposed to only being down three, they found themselves down four and were never able to catch up. 

F – LeBron James’ Comments on Charles Barkley - In light of Charles Barkley’s comments mentioned above, here is what LeBron James had to say, “He’s stupid. That’s all I’ve got to say about that.” Too bad Barkley wasn’t there to say, “ooh, good comeback.” Then I’m sure they would have started arguing over who’s dad has a better job in classic elementary school fashion. While the media has been the main perpetrator of all the rumors, LeBron has done nothing to dispel them.